got pushed back, got pushed back... waaaaaay back

Yeah, that's a spin off from the football cheer "Push 'em back, push em' back waaaaaaaay back! (GO RAMS!)" but yeah. So I was thinking I'd be brave and tell Mom, "Hey guess what! I might go to India!" Instead it was, "Uh... Mom? So, my group was thinking about going to India... Ok, you don't think it's such a great idea... ok. Yeah. Me neither. Yeah. No, I'm not dissapointed. Well. Bye." It's one of those, "But I just want Mom to be happy." moments. I don't live just to please Mom, but I try not to do things she doesn't want me to do. The India mission trip is one of them.

So I was thinking back on that and then last night I ended up loosing sleep over it, but I ended up getting distracted with the files of KT's Random Thoughts rather than praying about everything.

So I feel like I got pushed back, but maybe not waaaaaay back. Which is good. But I know the battle for what I am going to do about this whole thing is begun and I need to fight. Hard.

Supernatural Health

What is a pre - med Christian to do when he or she is involved in a discussion where one of his or her friends asserts that illness, especially mental illness is caused by demon possession or some other force of Satan or maybe God humbling the person with the illness? What are they to do when their 300 level classes and their general biology classes would clearly point to biological causes at the roots of some of these issues? And what is a pre - med to do when envoking the medical model may be to some, an invalidation of the power of God?

I have asked myself these questions for three years. Before going off into the crazy world of medical school, I would like to have figured out these questions at least partially. I need to know if only holding onto the medical model where every disease including mental illness has a biological cause, if I should take each case on an individual basis and determine what's going on, or if I should change my assumptions completely.

The trouble with assuming illnesses have a strong supernatural component is that one may pray instead of seek medicine or other forms of treatment which may make the illness worse and cause more harm. If I become a doctor, I will probably see patients and friends that appear to have a medical problem but not seek treatment because they see it as a supernatural problem. Then I would have a choice: I could tell them as their friend or as their physician that they have a legitimate medical problem. However, they may not believe me or discredit me saying I have a lack of faith or belief in the reality of the supernatural. The other choice I have would be to honor their belief and pray for them if they asked me to. However, I feel I would not be doing my duty as a physician if I ignored their condition.

Mier, Mier, Pants on FIRE

So this is from my other blog that I usually don't share with a whole bunch of people. However, I am re - blogging an entry off of there onto here because I feel like it...gosh! And I think it's important.
The Original Blog
I can't believe I have not blogged on Mier yet. Alas, biochemistry tests come first, ranting - a clos second! (Sorry, ranting buddy, I like Biochemstry - we don't even have to try 'synthesizing our way out of a paper bag...') Anyway, Mier...

There's a saying, "Open your mouth, insert your foot - well, Bush's foot may well be down past his laryinx - maybe down to the bronhial tree. Either way, he's not only put his foot in his mouth, he's suffocated himself with it. So, what's the fuss? I wrote an opinion article to the Rocky Mountain News (that I don't know if it got published) that I deleted without ever thinking: crap! I could put it on the blog! Oh well. Anyway, I basically said that some articles and her work experience makes her an unlikely candidate for the Supreme Court. It will seriously gag me if Bush gets the Senate or anyoone else to nominate her.

It's like making me Chief of Pediatrics having only (almost) graduated with a Human Development and Family Studies degree, an average score on the MCAT and a decent GPA. I'm several large skips and a jump away from being a doctor, much less Chief of Pediatrics of anything. Mier is a lawyer. But she's a few large steps away from being a judge, much less Supreme Court Judge. So it just makes absolutely no sense.
Seeing as this sheds light on Bush's decision making skills is way WAY WAY scary...

I read other articles and all we know is that she's against abortion and... well, against abortion... and Christian. A lot of the articles in the Rocky Mtn. News focused on James Dobson. Yes, The Dob. So he supports Mier's nomination, but is kinda like, "God give me a sign. A reeeeeeeeeally good sign that she's The One."

But I thought about Philipians 2 or 1 or whatever we read that talked about spiritual gifts and talents and everything. Being a Supreme Court judge isn't a spiritual gift per se but I think that God would've chosen someone with the skills to do it right. I know people have done crazy stuff with no formal training at all - Paul speaking and writing 1/2 of the Bible, Moses leading a whole nation, but those are really rare. I just don't see it working with Mier. She could be doing a great job hanging out at the White House and serving people there. That's just fine and I'm sure she's great at what she does.

But it's really annoying when Bush acts like an airhead and makes decsions like this on the fly that completely go against logic. It's just fodder for non - Christians to say that all we as Christians do is make decisions on faith and not use our brain cells and (the worst insult) rely on faith for things because we don't have 2 functioning brain cells to rub together. That makes me mad beyond mad... That's an insult to academically astute Christians everywhere and makes it harder for us to reason with people who just think (because of the Christian airheads) that we're relying on faith alone because we can't use logic.

As an afterthought: sorry for the rant if you've never seen the ranting side of me... actually, I won't appologize for the inttensity of my rant, but if I said anything that you disagree with, feel free to write me back and we can disscuss it intellegently...

A Christmas without pain

So, right... one may wonder why I'm writing about Christmas so soon. It's because some girls from my floor were down in the music room. One girl was playing on the piano, and the rest of us were listening and singing along. We were playing Christmas songs because one girl really likes Christmas. She works at Old Navy and is going to decorate all day the 28 and 29th of this month. Everyone was so excited, but I started to feel sad because my uncle died Dec 22 of last year and now my grandpa won't be there. Jen started playing Hark the Herald Angels Sing and we got to the part where it goes, "Joyful all ye nations rise / Join the triumph of the skies / With angelic
hosts proclam / Christ is born in Bethlehem." I thought of the sermon I listened to in Monika and Liz's room about the judgement for Christians in Heaven, but I focused on the 'worshiping in Heaven' componet of the sermon. Then I started to feel joy even though I was sad.

One Christmas, we will all be in Heaven. We might do the slightly corny 'Happy Birthday
to Jesus' song that we sang in Sunday school (or led kids in singing if we didn't go to Sunday school as kids.) Then we'll just worship like crazy and party down because it's our Savior's birthday. And everyone will be there. We won't have to worry if people aren't going to make it to the good eats due to car trouble, weather, flight cancelations, deaths in the family, etc. I don't know if it will be snowy or what, but it will be cool. For every Christmas we all go through that's painful, we will seriously have a million more full of just pure joy. Now that's something to get excited about!

Everyone's Sick =(

I have a whole bunch of my friends that are sick: one is recovering from surgery, one has foot problems, one has a cold, one has the stomach flu, one has anxiety / depression, and I am dealing with bereavement and that 'fractured mind' thing. As a friend, I'm sad all of us are sick. As a pre - med, I pray that everything is done in the medical establishment's power to make us all better. And as a Believer in Christ, I can still see my friends cling to the Great Physician and Savior as they deal with everything. He gives us all grace to still serve, still have conversations with nonbelievers, and still seek the face of God and worship.

The title of my blog is Spiritual Equilibrium. As Christians, we are in equilibrium with our flesh and the spirit of God that dwells within us. It can shift depending on our eviornment, but most importantly the state of our hearts - wether we let Him hold them wether we're sick or well, fractured or whole. I see in my friends that their physical or psychological condition may predispose them to let their flesh overcome them. They all recognize the reality of their illnesses and are seeking the medical resources to deal with them, but they are not shutting out their hearts for God. As their biological systems and doctors rebuild their flesh, they rejoice, if there are setbacks, they still rejoice because they know the soveriegnty of their Creator.

on being short

I'm in the Industrial Sciences computer lab as I write this. I'm on this swivelly office chair that can go up and down. Since the table's high and the computer screen is higher, I'm sitting on the chair pushed all the way up. Meaning my feet don't touch the floor... This makes me feel way short...

10 reasons I think God made me short

1. God was saving up Growth Factor for this kid at my high school who's about 7 ft tall.
2. I don't intimidate kids as easily in Children's Ministry because I'm so short.
3. When my body wasn't getting enough nutrients, God was routing all the nutrients to my brain instead of the rest of my body.
4. I'm so short I can pass for a freshman even though I'm a senior and still in the dorms. Advantage: I don't get made fun of or feel old.
5. When we all have to cram in someone's car for Small Group, I am 'squishable.'
6. I can squeeze by people in the Clark building lecture hall benches to get that seat in the center of the front row.
7. Because He felt like it... gosh
8. Four letters: A,T,C, and G
9. So I'll always stay humble and need to ask people to help me: "Could you reach... for me?"
10. He's trying to tell the world He can put a lot of power in a little jar if the little jar lets Him...

Any other additions, comments, questions, comments welcome!