PTSD and Grief

So, for some really random reason, I'm thinking about the summer. Everyone else is too. But, for me, thinking about summer means thinking about last summer. I seriously think that I have some PTSD going on (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) due to that. As well as revisiting grief. So, both things that I've dealt on seperate occasions, I now am going to have to deal with them simultaneously. I would go into the UCC again, but I basically have all the tools I need to deal with grief and PTSD. I think some of methods of dealing with them are the same: Don't surpress what you feel, work thorugh it (or pray though it in my case) and make peace about it (which means, asking for God's hand and trusting that He will heal all of it.) It's not going to come overnight, and I'm sure I'll spiral down and freak out, but at least I know how to 'roll with the punches.'

But it's times like these that make me not enjoy being around in this fallen world. But I can't think that way because it will discourage me, and it's God who numbers my days, not I. So, I must tell myself to keep going, I have to think of things to do and what I do have to look forward to.

Here goes:

D - Team
RSS
School
Graduating
Finding a job - scary, but hey, it's something to look forward to
More ID conversations with people
Awesome pre - med friends
Awesome friends in general

It's interesting how God knows that when times get tough, I need His stregnth as well as a blessing He hasa planned for me to get through. Over winter break, when He knew things would get really hairy really fast, He gave me the John Morris lecture to look forward to - to keep in the back of my mind so I would get up another day if only to get myself closer to that lecture.

I know sometimes I think God's hand is too short to reach my mind or reach in and help me when I'm hurting, but my life is a testament of that assumption not being true. Thus, I look to Heaven, not so much as an escape from this world, but as a place where I'll be with my Savior, Father, Creator and Lord and where He shows me my life in His light, and my pain bathed in His glory.