At first I thought this would be two seperate posts, but I realized that they both have the same theme! So here goes!
God keeps His promises. And God gives us what we ask for in accordance with His will. Easy concepts, hard to put into practical knowledge sometimes. But I have just experienced two instances where He has given something back that He had allowed to be taken away.
The first thing He restored was my enjoyment in playing the piano. About a month after my uncle died in December 2004, I was playing the piano one day and I just started crying. For some reason, that scared me, that playing music could unlock so much emotion. I stopped playing the piano then mainly because of time constraints, but also because I think I had this fear that my emotions would just be too overpowering when the music unlocked them. Well, a few weeks ago, Mom remarked about how I hadn't played since my return in May 2006 and would I just play a little bit. So, I started on the scales and these technique exercises. I realized that I could play again! It's weird, but it's like the grief I had with the two deaths in my family took away that joy, but now it's back. So, I try to play a little bit at least once a week. But when I could play without crying, I really did praise God because He gave that joy back to me. :)
The second thing He gave me was lost time. After my sophomore year, with my brain still loaded with O-Chem trivia - um - I mean - O-Chem knowledge - I really really wanted to do some lab research. I mainly wanted to do it to be a good premed and have it on my application, but anyway, I applied and I would've gotten in had my letters of recommendation arrived in a more timely manner. (I have since wholeheartedly forgiven said professors and advisors for that :) At first I was really upset because there went my dreams for spending the summer up to my ears in cells and solvents in a lab somewhere on campus. Instead, I went home to deal with my uncle's diagnosis of terminal cancer. From that moment until I graduated, grief and crisis were honestly the two things that overshadowed that college experience. Had God's light not shone through that darkness, I would've been utterably miserable.
Then I got the letters. The first was the rejection letter from UCHSC saying that they would not interview me, though I had applied. The next day, I receieved a letter from CSU on their accepting me into a graduate program. That program would last two years.
Yesterday, I spoke with someone at the teaching hospital where I work, and they mentioned the opportunity to do research. For a summer.
Suddenly, it hit me. I asked for a summer of research. God postponed it because He knew I had to be home with my family. Though I didn't ask for it, I wished I could experience my last two years of college without the grief. God granted me admission to a two year master's program.
I recognized God's restoration right there. It was nearly like the Isrealite's going to the promised land and being delayed for - well - a long time - but eventually making it in.
Poem I wrote yesterday
Oh God, my God who
Lifts me from my tears
This Savior, Lord has
Redeemed my tearstained years
Of witnessing sickness, feeling grief
Wounds of twice fresh cuts,
Twice drawn deep
Down the fabric of family,
Down the center of my heart
Twice drawn out illnesses
Twice long suffering wrought
Yea, this day, God revealed
A possible pathway to heal.
Twenty seven months, yes
In tears and in pain.
Yet, another twenty-seven
May be restored again.
Once more to passions
To learn and study medicine
To God be the glory,
Even now as tears I cry
Of joy, no longer trial
For God, my spirit He revives
No comments:
Post a Comment