Resting in God this year

Hebrews 4 is all about entering into God's rest. This verse confused me A LOT when I first read it waay back when. The lights came on in my head last Christmas when Summitview went through Hebrews during Advent and I heard, God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen. God rest ye merry gentlemen / let nothing you dismay / remember Christ our Savior was born on Christmas day. Suddenly I began to get it. I was like, "Oh my gosh!!!! This is the answer to Hebrews 4!!!!! I felt like a super-nerd having an, "I GET IT THEOLOGICALLY" moment when I think I heard that song when Mom and I were shopping at the mall. I was sorta zoned out for a few minutes thinking about it.


Anyway, going through Hebrews again, I got to think about it even MORE!! Rest means not striving, not struggling, peaceful. Kinda like my stuffed animals here in the picture hehe :D Just chillin'. When can we be just chill in every circumstance? WITH JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) No really! This doesn't mean that we go through life all zoned out and totally not caring about anything. We still have the normal range of emotions, but with Jesus we don't completely meltdown in a crisis situation. Of course, we as believers living on earth aren't ever completely sanctified on earth, so of course we're going to melt-down at points and never be perfect. That's why the author of Hebrews is like, "ENCOURAGE EACH OTHER!!!!" so we stay as focused on Jesus as we can & thus can spend more of our lives resting in Him :)


So, personal appy: In what circumstances has God helped me rest in Him this year?????????


1. Definitely definitely the finding-a-job circumstance. That was hard. I cried. A lot. I got mad at God. A lot. I had several meltdowns. My friends and even Mitch encouraged me greatly during this time reminding me that God is good, He is provider, He knows my needs, He will reward me for seeking His kingdom first and trusting Him with the rest. I did find more and more rest in that, and I was more confident in sharing that rest & trust I had in God's goodness with Mom so she could see that God is real!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

me as a giant teardrop

2. In dealing with my past. This is an ongoing thing, but God hammered into it this year. That was and still is hard. I do cry. A lot. I'm a giant teardrop at times. I rested in Isaiah 52, 61, 54, 40 - ok, I just rested in the promises in the book of Isaiah :D The Breaking Free study helped a lot. My 'Summitview Moms' helped a lot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My friends helped a lot!! Team Fun encouraged me with Truth when I would cry. I rested in the fact that God allowed my past for His reasons and He showed me often how much He has healed me already. When I would read something in the HDFS literature, sometimes He would remind me how He did that particular intervention. For example, I had a broken self-concept for a long time and that's a giant hindrance to development. He showed me that finding my identity in Him progressively fixes that particular area :)


3. Closely related to to dealing with my past was getting my ASD diagnosis. Talk about my world just caving in and blowing up in my FACE..... That hurt. A lot. I cried. A lot. I had insomn1ia. A lot. I spent many hours (in between doing what I normally do) under a specific tree on the CSU Monfort Quadrangle journaling about it and crying. And praying. My rest was John 9:3, 2 Cor 4:7-9 and 12:1-10. My rest was that I was growing closer to God even when all I could do was cry. There was a time when I had a meltdown and in the middle of rocking, crying, and banging my head against something, I felt God say, "I'm here. Open your emotions to Me." I stopped banging and let Him take all the emotional pain that was too overwhelming and that I needed so badly to be released physically. I let Him take it so I could just lay there and cry. And I felt joy. No kidding. I felt joy that I could bring my emotions, my broken neurology to my Creator. I felt joy that I had a connection to my Creator because there are people on the spectrum that don't. I don't know if Temple Grandin has a connection to the One that made her and a cattle on a thousand hills, but I pray so much that at some point she does.  I rested knowing that God has a plan for my weakness. He has a future for me and He will use this for His kingdom. And one day, I will not have an ASD anymore. My friends reminded me of these truths, and I felt better and I kept on coming to God with stuff. Did I do it perfectly? Nope. Oh no... definitely not. But each time I did come to God, I learned more about Him. He showed me that He can and is using me even in spite of my ASD. I am still in children's ministry and I - with massive massive amounts of God's help was able to nanny for a single parent this summer :D and sometimes I doubted my abilities, but when I noticed progress in their behavior and when they would come to the door and almost knock little me over with hugs, I knew that God was helping me connect with them :) Our God is greater / Our God is stronger / God You are higher than any other / Our God is healer / awesome in power / our God / our God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh yes, God used that song a lot!!! THANKS SUMMITVIEW WORSHIP TEAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and Chris Tomlin and Matt Redman :)


4. Guy stuff. Since I'm a girl. I write more about this in another blog post, but basically, God helped me find rest in the fact that He is pleased with my development in whatever trajectory He decided to lead it and I don't have to strive to meet developmental milestones like marriage to please Him and be useful to Him. He also showed me more of how He is my eternal Husband. He gently reminded me, "Katie, I coded your DNA. I know you. You don't have to be afraid to tell Me things." Also, when I would whine and cry and pray in the middle of the night, I would say, "God, I thank You that You're my eternal husband, because I think an earthly husband would be grouchy if I woke him up with my crying in the middle of the night." Yay :) I know that God has given me rest in this area when I can go to weddings and enjoy them and eek without feeling the, "God, when will that be me???" feeling.


Yeah, those are the four main areas of Katie's life that God helped me find rest in Him :) :) :)


Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD YOU'RE AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks SO MUCH that I can find rest in You and I can continue to find rest in You just by praying and connecting to You and reading your Word OBVIOUSLY and - thanks for my SUMMITVIEW FRIENDS for encouraging me with Your Truths and just by their example of living by faith and it's so cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank You that I am finding more and more rest in You even if it's through tears or after a meltdown or after I have to repent of some serious sin!! Thank You that You share the moments of me giggling to me crying in pain from something that's really bothering me. God I am soooooooo thankful that it's BY YOUR GRACE ALONE that one day, I'll wake up in Heaven and find rest in You because You're there and there will be no more sin or brokenness coming between us!!!! :) I always imagine You and I drinking tea and me snuggling in Your lap with a fuzzy blanket :) :) hehe! That will be super-awesome-ultimate rest :) :) :) :) :) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) God, I pray also that my brothers & sisters would come to know Your rest better here and look forward to the rest in Heaven. I pray Mom comes to rest in your salvation. I pray Temple Grandin does too. And I pray that other people I know who don't know You also come into Your rest because You bring them there through the Cross!!!!!!!!!!!! AMEN!!!!!!!!!! ((HUGS))