Careviging Hierarchy

I will probably address this more as I go along in the blog, but currently my aunt and my mom have seen a significant increase in the tasks they are required to do for my 92 year old grandmother who is living at home but with 20-30 hours a week of some form of outside help. 

Today Mom was supposed to take my grandmother on a scheduled outing. We realized the keys for granny's car were in our condo where the steps were currently under construction (and thus inaccessable). Mom called Grandma and turns out Grandma didn't know where her car keys went and didn't know for a few days. 

That was a problem because Mom needed the keys to take Grandma to the outing because Grandma's car is a 4 door car and could hold the stuff she needs better than Mom's 2 door car. 

So Mom and I had to brainstorm and find a solution. We found someone else to take Grandma, but it stressed both of us out. Mom was stressed because she felt like it was her fault. I tried not to stress when the solutions I brought up weren't being met with the response I was expecting. 

My mom and my aunt have most of the caregiving responsibility. I have read in the HDFS literature that informal or family caregivers need support. Currently I am experiencing being that support to Mom. 

If I were to outline a caregiving hierarchy, it would look something like this: 

Grandma (client) 

• Supported by Aunt 1 (with driving her to appointments and keeping records of care as well as other administrative tasks. She's seen as "lead staff" 
• Supported by her husband who helps her emotionally and helps her do projects around Grandma's house. 
• Supported emotionally by her two adult children. 
• Supported by: Mom (with driving her to events, managing medications) 
• Supported by me who does small tasks around Grandma's help either by myself or as a helper to Mom. Mom is also supported emotionally by me and I also brainstorm ideas Mom can share with Aunt 1. 
• Supported by Uncle 1 who comes up from Colorado Springs bi-weekly to do yard work and "manly" tasks as well as for other support tasks. 
• Supported by paid house-cleaners that clean floors and the kitchen on a bi-weekly basis. 

I have to remember that without Christ, this caregiving hierarchy will collapse. If I do not support Mom with the love of Christ, she will loose her support and that will affect the rest of this structure. 

Firstly I will have to pray that my family comes to know Christ if they haven't already. If they know Christ, CHRIST is their ultimate support as they help my grandma. Secondly, I just have to remember that God sees all of this and common grace He gives is strength for each day. Grace He gives those of us that are Christian are Christ working through us. We just have to keep letting Him as more needs are added to the caregiving hierarchy.