Francesca Basttistelli "Time In Between"
Don't take much for this crazy worldTo rob me of my peaceAnd the enemy of my soulSays You're holding out on meSo I stand here lifting empty handsFor you to fill me up againBut it's the time in betweenThat I fall down to my kneesWaiting on what You'll bringAnd the things that I can't seeI know my song's incompleteStill I'll sing in the time in between[ From: http://www.elyrics.net ]
Boaz and I were talking last night about different struggles we had with being single in our pre-coupledom days. We both admitted that it's hard to admit that we struggled with wondering how God would fill us in that 'time in between.'
Sometimes I think there is shame in saying, "I'm impatient. I want something and I struggle to find it on my own rather than trust God for my desires." There is this sense that to be a good Christian, I have to patiently wait and God's grace in giving me what I want is contingent upon how patiently I wait. That shame tends to make me not talk about how I give in to my desires - even to God.
Boaz felt the same way and we talked about how God grows us as we come to Him in the midst of the struggle in our 'time in between' - our time in between jobs, our time in our singleness, our tine in between wanting something and getting it. When Boaz and I were real about our desperation before God and how God came through in giving us the patience to wait and the comfort that He was there, I felt something cool.
I felt that shame I had felt earlier about my struggles disappear It was replaced with gratitude toward God :) Gratitude for: His blood covering my sin when I did give in without Him, His promise that He is enough, His comfort, and His love as a Father and Lord to tell me that He loved me and He has a plan for me :) Boaz felt the same way :)
In the struggles in between as we wait for our hearts' desires, we learned that there is no shame in the struggle as we cried out to God and waited as He showed us that He is enough :)
Wow, so true. Especially with relationships, but also with a lot of other things it's easy for me to see God's grace in provision as something I have to earn either by waiting patiently enough or praying hard enough, or having enough faith. Under that pressure, it's really easy to put on a mask, like you said, and not even admit to God how hard it is and what you really feel.
ReplyDeleteBut that's all wrong! It's not grace if you earn it, and the gospel and every gift of God is grace all the way down. That is a relief; let's me be real with God, which is what I guess He wants more than my "perfect" patience, faith, or prayers.
Thanks for posting this, seriously!