Cracks in the Dream Castle

As a little girl, I enjoyed reading books about princess and stuff. I never had a princess castle cake, but the idea of finding a prince charming and living happily ever after was appealing to me. 

Oh my gosh.... cute little Asian girl and cute cake!!! 

I think the longing was stronger for me because I wanted a father-figure and just want to feel the love of a man who would be my rescuer and my - well, my everything. 

Well, my prince charming came and proposed and I said yes :) 

Recently, I have been seeing the cracks in the 'dream castle.' I know all relationships are not perfect, but I think when I worry if my prince charming has forgotten about me, I feel forgotten and that hurt may be stronger for me because I had attachment problems when I came over from the Philippines. I failed the attachment assessment when I had my comprehensive developmental evaluation at 18 months old. 

Realizing my insecurities can affect how I think about my relationship is jarring to my feelings but makes perfect sense to my HDFS mind. Well, yeah. I read about how one's development can affect marriage and relationships. It's just different to actually feel it. To have my emotions crying while my HDFS text part of my brain shows me where my crying is coming from. 

So what? What do I do to repair the cracks in the prince and princess castle of my dreams? Well, I think continued therapy is always good and I will need to discuss with my prince charming. The most important thing I should do is to always go to Christ and let His truth that He is enough and He has overcome the world sink in. In this life, I will never have a perfect princess castle with my prince charming Boaz. But in the next life, we all will have a perfect world with Christ as our King! I pray to God to help me keep that as my true hope.