Psalm 34 is really awesome. I think I might've done a verse-by-verse study on it at one point, but with a more general theme woven through. However, I wanted to focus on how this verse applies to my dealings with adjusting to life knowing that I'm on the autism spectrum. Throughout this process, there have been times where I've focused more on gathering information and looking at how other people lived life on the spectrum than going to God for direction. I've also wanted to talk to others on the spectrum (especially one particular person who has achieved great worldly success even while being autistic) about issues that were coming up rather than going to God. These things are not wrong in themselves, but in absence of God, they can only give me so much hope.
| Psalm 34 (ESV) | My thoughts |
| I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth. | All times means all times. Philippians 4:4 says "Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again, rejoice." This is only possible when I realize that |
| My soul makes its boast in the Lord; let the humble hear and be glad. (NIV says: Let the afflicted hear and rejoice). | My soul was prone to boasting in my master's degree, in other things, but again, like Paul, I must boast in the Lord. That is the gist of 2 Cor 12:9-10. I don't just boast in the Lord in my weaknesses to make myself feel better, but so others in similar situations or with other weaknesses can be encouraged. Affliction also leads to humility which leads to dependence in and eventually joy in God. |
| Oh, magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together! | For everyone that has dealt with disabilities & illness, there is hope! I have found Jesus! Come with me, see who He is, exalt Him together!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK J |
| I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. | Yup! This is the line in Taste & See (lyrical adaptation to this song) that made me cry really hard. My shame is gone as You draw near!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Growing up, no one realized that I was on the mild end of the autism spectrum. Therefore, all my behaviors that fell in that category were often corrected in a negative way (see my blog post on that). I was pushed to be normal and now knowing that I'm not still hurts. Growing up, I feared that I would be less of a person if I didn't achieve that sense of normal. However, God intervened, saving me just as I am. He is my Creator and knows my limitations better than I do and better than any assessment can measure. Because Christ took away any impurities standing between me and God, I can stand before my Creator without shame. |
| This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him and saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them. | In times when I was alone in my room as a child, I would pray and ask God to help me get through life. I knew I needed Him, even though I was operating on a works-based gospel for a while. God answered with the ultimate solution to my problems: Jesus Christ, and also allowing me to get tools such as early interventions & really amazing teachers to help me as I developed. God protected me throughout my childhood by allowing me to be in an over-sheltered environment so I didn't get into bad situations with peers that, in retrospect, I probably wouldn't have been able to handle with my ASD. |
| Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! | EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK J If David had my manerisms, I'm guessing he would've paused while writing this and maybe jumped around in his room and eeeked and then thought, "Hm, I should verbalize that – like THAT!!!!!" I have tangiblely tasted & seen that God is good even in this 'discovering' my ASD experience. God used me to share the Gospel with my evaluator, and He has given me amazing friends at Summitview to help me J |
| Oh, fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear him have no lack! The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing. | So I might lack certain social skills & cognitive stuff, but eternally, I lack no good thing. I have full access to my Creator & the securest attachment ever because God made it possible not me. I have the hope that in eternity with God, all the ASD stuff will fall away and I will live with God and others that He has redeemed in perfect relationship which btw NO ONE has experienced, forever! Even the most accomplished HDFS interventionists with amazing families and even those that have overcome insurmountable odds may still feel like they lack something at times. But those who seek the Lord lack no good thing. That's how I understand the verse in my head. |
| Come, O children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the Lord. | Statistically (and yes, I know God doesn't operate according to statistics), people with diagnoses on the autism spectrum marry less. However, this doesn't mean that God can't use me to impact the next generation. In fact, He has used me in various classroom & babysitting capacities, even if it was for short periods of time. My prayer is for the next generation to see God working through my life. |
| What man is there who desires life and loves many days, that he may see good? Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit. Turn away from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it. | I'm thankful that I grew up in a family that knew right & wrong and had a pretty solid Biblical worldview. Temple Grandin often talks about growing up in the 1950's where most families followed standard social conventions that she had to learn (though her parents & teachers had to be more patient to teach her). This training in childhood helped me seek God, even if it was trying to please Him by doing good rather than seeking Him alone for salvation. That part came eventually because His kindness led me to repentance and ultimately salvation through faith in Christ alone. This strong moral understanding & training is a very strong protective factor in both our lives. |
| The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous and his ears toward their cry. The face of the Lord is against those who do evil, to cut off the memory of them from the earth. | I am righteous because Christ imputed that on me (2 cor 5:21). Thus, He hears my prayers because they are not hindered by my sin (Is 59:2). J This is not true for those that ultimately do not accept Christ as their Savior L |
| When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. | How has the Lord already delivered me from the challenges of having an ASD? By being my ultimate source of comfort because He knows what it's like not to fit in, and He has overcome the world & all its imperfections. He is my hope. |
| Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken. | Another EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK verse J I have definitely had a lot of afflictions developmentally: attachment issues, early trauma, secondary PTSD from my mom's experience with my early medical issues, clinical depression and body image issues in adolescence, and all with the thread of autistic tendancies running through my development. Wow. And yet God preserved my intellect so I could go to school & eventually Colorado State University where I accepted Him as Savior. He has healed me from a lot of the trauma, though there's still yet to heal. He has allowed me to get a Master's in Human Development & Family studies to help others have a better developmental outcome than I had. These things have scarred me, but not crushed me. And that is all by God's grace. |
| Affliction will slay the wicked, and those who hate the righteous will be condemned. The Lord redeems the life of his servants; none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned. | Those who do not ultimately accept Christ will be eternally condemmed (2 Thes 1:8-9). THE LORD HAS REDEEMED MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have taken refuge in Him. Yes, interventions that I can use on this earth are good, but my ultimate hope is God. He works all things, including this, for the good of those who love Him & for His purposes (Romans 8:28-9) so that others may see Christ. In this, I know that God has a purpose for my life, even though it's not – nor will it ever be - a typical life. Therefore, I know that wherever God leads me and whatever challenges I face due to ASD or other things, He will use them for His kingdom if I give them to Him. |
Wow. Seriously. Wow. God is pretty awesome! J
I will love You Lord forever
My lips will always sing Your praise
From deep inside I feel it rising
Come glorify the Lord with me
Come glorify the Lord with me
I taste & see that You are good
I hide myself within Your love
In your presence I lack nothing
You're all I want and You are here with me
Yes You're here with me J
I looked for You and Lord You found me
Delivered me from all my fears
With hearts wide open faces shining
My shame is gone as You draw near
My shame is gone as You draw near
I taste & see that You are good
I hide myself within Your love
In your presence I lack nothing
You're all I want and You are here with me
Jesus, Oh You're glorious
In Your presence I lack nothing
In Your presence I lack nothing
In Your presence I lack nothing
In Your presence I lack nothing.
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