American Identity

Previous 4th of July posts have focused on why I am grateful I live in the United States. This one is a bit more introspective exploring my identity as an American, or more specifically, an American who was adopted from the Philippines. 

My mom made my dress I wore to my citizenship ceremony at the Federal courthouse in Denver. The citizenship certificate has my picture on it with me holding an American flag. 

My grandpa, or "Pa", instilled love of country in me at a very early age. I remember watching him hang the flag by the door of his and Grandma's house every 4th of July, Memorial Day, or Labor Day that I was with my grandparents. We went to the Memorial Day Parade in downtown Denver where we watched Grandma march with the W.A.C. or Women's Army Corps. In elementary school, I thought I had the coolest grandma because, "She was old, but she could march all the way through the Memorial Day parade!" Pa also reminded me to stand and clap for the veterans who were disabled when their unit marched by. He reminded me that my freedom was not free. 

As I grew older and began to watch the news with my mom, I would ask her questions about world events and we would discuss them at dinner. When I discussed the news with Pa, he would remind me not to take our democracy for granted as many citizens of other countries didn't have the basic rights given to us through the Bill of Rights. He and my mom also encouraged me to understand the structure of government so I was able to make informed decisions when I became of voting age. 

Mom was the one who got me hooked on football, America's pastime. Well, she and Flora turned me into a die-hard Denver Broncos fan, and my mom was so happy when we could discuss Elway's brilliance and fumbles. 

My mom also taught me how to like American pie. Especially when it's served a la mode with the vanilla ice-cream melting on top of the hot apples - mmmm.... 

Considering all these things, I was an all-American girl. As I became a teen, I realized I was an all-American girl in completely Asian skin. Did that bother me? Sometimes. I would tell my mom that I didn't feel as American as my friends because I wasn't born here and I wasn't Caucasian. I was Asian-American, and therefore, not completely American. She told me that I shouldn't tell myself that because I was an American citizen. If I wanted proof, she would show my my citizenship documents. 

As I learned more about history, I embraced the idea that America was a land of immigrants. I could relate to the story of coming here to find a better life. Maybe I wasn't American in a sense that I was born on U.S. soil to parents who lived here for generations, but I was American in that I came here for a better life. Like many immigrants, I respect and appreciate the culture from my home country, but I also embrace this culture and this country. I don't feel a pull between the two because they are both a part of me. I'm an American from the Philippines who is grateful for her new life. 

And I'm proud to be an American

For at least I know I'm free

And I won't forget the men who died

Who gave that right to me

And I'll gladly stand up next to you

And defend her still today

'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land

God Bless the U.S.A.

Christmas Tea and Hot Chocolate

Mom and I finished our Christmas with tea and hot chocolate! Mom liked her cute snowman mug :)

Yesterday I wrote how I was struggling to get in the Christmas spirit this whole season. Well, I'd have to say that after that post, I was feeling more in the Spirit. Not just the Christmas Spirit, but letting God's Spirit talk to me more. 

I was able to stay calm when Mom was worried about going over to my grandma's house to take her and my aunt to church. Turns out, they weren't sure how it would all work out as it was blowing snow. Mom and I were concerned about Grandma falling on the ice as she has osteoporosis and is quite unsteady. When Grandma said she didn't think she would go to church, I reminded her that God understood and that she made a really good decision to stay safe and warm inside her house. My aunt wasn't too disappointed either, and so Mom and I went back home after wishing them a merry Christmas. 

The morning of Christmas, I got up and made Mom some breakfast. We jammed to some Jars of Clay and Third Day Christmas tunes. While opening presents, we jammed to Chris Tomlin's Glory in the Highest CD. Some years I see presents as a competition: did I get enough presents for Mom to 'match' what she gave me? If I feel like I didn't break even with Mom and she gave more than I did, I would feel guilty afterward. But this year, I was more grateful for her presence than her... presents! (Yes, that was a pun for any of my blog stalkers who enjoy puns!) Mom and I bought each other really inexpensive practical gifts and that was nice :) 

Then I read Isaiah 11 - 66. Like the whole thing. 

Mind. Blown. 

Like. Wow. WOW! GOD IS LIKE SUPER EPIC! He wipes out WHOLE NATIONS and saves HIS PEOPLE - His Redeemed - for Himself all through Christ and - oh man - did I say that was epic already??? There's a bunch of prophesies specific to Christ, and tons MORE that are general promises for those that are redeemed through Christ and were for the people of the Old Testament. Oh. Man! 

Like I said: Mind. Blown! 

That was really nice to set the stage for the next part of our Christmas which was taking my grandma and aunt out to dinner en route to taking my aunt back to her apartment. 

We went to one of the few restaurants that was open. The server wasn't as quick as his co-workers, but we eventually got everything we asked for. I felt like asking the manager to ask him to get a move on it since we had two family-member clients that had to get places before it got too cold, but I think God was teaching me patience. I was nice to the guy even though I thought he should've done a better job for how busy the place was and that they seemed to have adequate staff. However, God reminded me that Christ treated us not as we deserve, so I should treat this server not as he deserved. I was nice and we all wished him a Merry Christmas and tipped him adequately. 

Mom was a bit worried about Grandma walking on the ice, but there wasn't much, and she was ok. There was one moment where both she and my aunt were using me for balance, and I was thinking, 'Ok guys. At least we're right by the car.' We made it to my aunt's apartment and I helped her open the door. She was turning the key the wrong way in the deadbolt and I showed her after the door was open so she could see the bolt going in and out of the door. Mom, Grandma, and I made it home uneventfully. It was just super cold. 

Hence the need for tea and hot chocolate once Mom and I got home :) 

I know it's a pretty obvious thing to point out, but definitely focusing on Christ helped me this Christmas. God worked through  me to display His love and care on the day we celebrate His birth. For that, I am thankful :) 

What remains when traditions are stripped away

Mom and I are struggling to keep the true meaning of Christmas in our minds this year for a few reasons. 

First, our tree has been downsized a lot. We've gone from a 5 foot tree in the corner of the living room to 
this little ornament tree from Target because my crud is in the corner as you all can see. 

I still have Mom's presents around it :) :) 

Second of all, Mom and are not going to my aunt's house in Littleton like we normally do because she has other Christmas plans. 

Third of all, Mom and I are going to take my grandma and my aunt with special needs to church tonight and then out to eat tomorrow before we take my aunt back to her apartment. We will basically be focused on family caregiving on Christmas day. 

I can 'check out' and treat Christmas like I did when I worked at the group home: It's a holiday, but I'm at work for some of it and I can focus on the clients but not on what the holiday is really about. I can make Christmas about keeping Mom happy and making sure she has a nice Christmas and not really celebrate it myself in my own heart. 

However, I can do all these things: joyfully help my aunt and grandma as well as encourage my mom if I remember the TRUE meaning of Christmas. 

Today I felt myself checking out, so I spent some time in Isaiah chapters 9 to 11. I read the familiar verses of "For unto us a child is born..." to Mom and that cheered her up. Christmas is about redemption. Christmas is about Christ coming to redeem His people out of the world being held captive by sin. Christmas is about God and His love for the world. 

If I focus firstly on Christ and celebrate His birth, that encouragement derived from that and He can better display His love to my family as I help meet their physical and emotional needs. If I focus firstly on Christ, all traditions can be stripped away: we could go without our little ornament tree and little presents, yet I could still rejoice in Christmas because I would be rejoicing in Christ. 

100 Things I am thankful for

Happy Thanksgiving Blogsphere! 

I have not done a Thanksgiving blog post since November 2005. While reviewing that post, I noticed that I had done a 100 things I am thankful for as a Small Group Bible Study exercise. 

Here's a list of 22 things I am thankful for as of November 22, 2012 :) 

Katie is thankful for: 

1. God saving me TEN YEARS AGO in 2002 in 264 Newsom Hall at Colorado State University!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
2. That the formative years of my spiritual development (ages 0-7, especially 0-3) were spent around people who truly took the Bible to heart and lived it out. Thank you Summitview!! :) 
3. For my college education that has helped me as I go into the paralegal program! 
4. For Mom because she's awesome and she's letting me crash at her house rent free while I get my paralegal certificate! 
5. For the rest of the Sutherland clan because they are crazy yet awesome! 
6. For this computer because I use it a LOT! 
7. For my jobs I've had in 2012 - my group home job and my job at CSU. 
8. For my ROOMMATES I had in 2012! Roz and Jo! I LOVE YOU GIRLS!!! :) 
9. For the others in the Quad that made me smile such as Kristina and Kim :) 
10. That I am able to volunteer at Colorado Legal Services for experience and also to help them out :) 
11. For the RTD bus system that is so much better than Transfort :) 
12. That there's peace in the middle east for today (Thanks, Mom) 
13. That Mom is thankful for stuff too and thankful to God for a lot of it and that wouldn't have happened 10 years ago! 
14. I'm thankful for Hope Crossing Church my new peeps! 
15. I'm thankful for freedom of speech and religion covered in the First Amendment to the Constitution :) 
16. I'm thankful for my friends in the paralegal program that we can be paralegal nerds together! 
17. I'm thankful for my friends from high school  and CSU that I still keep in touch with  :) 
18. I'm thankful for squishy friends (stuffed animals). 
19. That it's sunny out today and it was really nice out yesterday :) 
20. That the news only has to report on the Macy's parade and not more urgent (bad) news. 
21. That God has provided for me even in this recession and still has his hand of grace and provision over the United States (for now). 
22. That I get to play with my cute second cousins at tonight's family gathering and that I will most likely get to eat pie :) WOO HOO! 

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! 

Proud to be an American

Fireworks in DC - Thanks, Google Images :)

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY EVERYONE! 

I'm proud to be a citizen of the United States :) Here are 50 reasons why I'm thankful that I live here! Note, these statements above may have political implications, but they are not intended to persuade readers toward any sort of political ideology. These statements are only meant to express my gratitude as to why I am proud to be American :) 

1. The government allows international adoptions :) This is why I'm here in the first place (THANKS, MOM!) 

2. We have freedom of speech. I'm able to post such things as this blog :) 

3. We can VOTE 

4. There are 3 branches of government that as of now still do a decent job with checks and balances :) 

5. The only political unrest during an election year are the commentators on CNN yelling at each other and people writing scathing blogs about candidates they don't like. 

6. There really isn't any sectarian violence (ethnic violence) as of 2012. 

7. We're slowly working through the history of ethnic violence (in the 1960's and in the 1800's) of the past and trying to reconcile things. 

8. We have mega-churches and Christian radio stations without fear of persecution. 

9. As Christians, we have enough resources to send to other nations to help get the Gospel out. 

10. Ordinary citizens can write to Congress (even if you only do get a form letter back). 

11. Ordinary citizens can have access to the docket at the Supreme Court and actually attend a session. 

12. Government buildings are accessible to the public. 

13. There is still some transparency in our government 

14. Universities allow international student ministry :) 

15. The colors red, white, and blue are nice together :) 

16. We're NOT the nation of PANEM (yet) 

17. Our nation encompasses the tundra of Alaska, the majestic Rocky Mountains of Colorado, the forests of New England, the Redwoods of California, and the TROPICAL ISLANDS OF HAWAII :) So much scenic stuff without even leaving the country :) 

18. I do enjoy watching American Football. 

19. There are still opportunities for upward mobility within society. 

20. Proceedings involving governmental officials charged with contempt or involved in impeachment hearings are somewhat public (CNN and CSPAN) so we know that there is... um... still some accountability to the taxpayers there. 

21. Colorado is awesome! 

22. Oh yes - thanks to Land Grant institutions like Colorado State University, higher education is still accessible (for now) for mostly everyone. 

23. The American Dream still inspires people - though we shouldn't put ALL our hope there. 

24. There is still a National Day of Prayer. 

25. Christian student groups at the high school and college level are still permitted in the public school and public university systems. 

26. The Bible is not banned here. 

27. Historical documents detailing the Founding Fathers' worldviews are still accessible in museums and the national archives. 

28. The state has not turned the military on the regular citizens. 

29. Oh yes, WE HAVE THE BILL OF RIGHTS built into our Constitution!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

30. Our constitution is actually a really short document, easy to follow, easy to study :D 

31. We also have the Americans with Disabilities Act which is yet another step in ending discrimination against people with disabilities and making society more accessible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOO! 

32. I can get scholarships because I'm Asian :D 

33. The Founding Fathers came from a Christian worldview and the premise of most of our laws still reflect that. 

34. Even so, citizens are not FORCED to become Christian by the government :) 

35. Gas prices are cheaper here than in Europe. 

36. Women have rights such as: right to vote, right to own land / a home, right to work, no-fault divorce, right to an education, and one nearly NEARLY ran for PRESIDENT! 

37. A person of ethnic minority status can own land / a home. 

38. A person of ethnic minority status was elected president. 

39. And if the country thinks he hasn't fixed the economy fast enough, we can elect someone else. :D

40. We can have events like Occupy Wall Street where people's voices are heard, and yet that doesn't throw us into a full-scale revolution. 

41. International students still come in droves to our universities. 

42. It is relatively easy to become a citizen if you were born somewhere else. 

43. An ordinary person can eventually get his/her case heard in the Supreme Court and the outcome can set the precedent for the rest of the laws of the land. 

44. The Star-Spangled banner is a pretty song :)

45. There is still a middle class.

46. People still have resources to give to a TON of secular and Christian organizations that help others around the world. 

47. The spirit of entrepreneurship allows for inventions that have helped a lot of people. 

48. Washington DC is a cool place to visit and potentially live :D 

49. Though our healthcare system is far from perfect, my mom as a single parent was still able to pay for the glasses I needed and the occupational therapy I needed to catch up to my peers when I first came over at age 2. 

50. It's home :) "Land of the free and the home of the brave :D" 

Happy Fourth of July! 

Gratefulness for my Summitview Fathers

I grew up in a church tradition where the clergy-members were referred to as "Father So-and-So" It was just tradition, and I didn't think much of it. They were our spiritual leaders, but I always felt distant from them, perhaps because I felt distant from God due to my lack of understanding of the Gospel. 

Me outside of the Summitview building in 2011

As I "grew up" re-born through Christ in Newsom Hall (Room 264), I had another set of spiritual leaders. Aaron Ritter my first D-Team leader, Pastor Meyer and Pastor Thatcher were my first followed by Brandon Pullen, Mitch Majeski, and Eddie Smith, Nathan Hrouda, Chris Reynolds, John Larsen, and Russ and Dave Cole / Eric Kaan in Symbio. 


These guys taught me through their example and their leadership what it meant to be a display of Biblical masculinity. Their example helped me understand its' compliment: Biblical Femininity. I felt safe to flourish as a Believer and be my crazy little self around these Summitview men. 


More importantly, some of them became my 'Summitview Fathers' I consider John Meyer as my Summitview father because - well - his kids are my age, and also he was a very important figure in helping me learn about Creationism and he fueled my passion for it. Last year when I was deciding whether or not to pursue Occupational Therapy, he was willing to sit down and chat with me about it because I needed a parent-like figure who had a Christian worldview to help me figure out what I wanted to do with my life. 


My other leaders mentioned in the above paragraphs have helped me deal with my past and just deal with life as a young adult. They've seen me break down in tears as well as bounce around eeking. I am grateful for their friendship, guidance, and example. 


It was when I was at Summitview that I realized how deep my "father wound" was. Looking back at my time at Summitview, I see that God continues to fill it with Himself and He has used these "Summitview Fathers" as part of the process.