Thursday, April 20, 2006

Trust

1. I had a job interview and won't find out until next week.
2. I haven't had any calls from places in Denver where I applied.
3. If I get the job in Ft. Collins, I need to find a place to live
4. I think my flash drive is in my room with my whole life on it.

What do these four things all have in common? Trust. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding." Proverbs 3:5

Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid: for the LORD JEHOVAH is my strength and my song; he also is become my salvation" Isiah 12:2

"I will wait for the LORD, who is hiding his face from the house of Jacob. I will put my trust in him" Isaiah 8:7

(source: Biblegateway.com)

Aha! I think I will do my quiet time on Trust today since apparently I need it. I think I was planning on doing my quiet time, but I honestly don't know if I had it since I don't remember. So, this will do. The first thing that came to my mind regarding trust was the Isrealites since I was doing a search in the Old Testament. More specifically, I was thinking about the Golden Calf scene. What happened was this: Moses was taking orders from God for 40 days while the Isrealites were on their own. We could say, "How STUPID they were to build a calf when God was around them and behind them in pillars of smoke and fire and parted the red sea and...." But, I can say, "How STUPID am I, who sees God in every aspect of biology and chemistry and organic chemistry and physics, who has God's Spirit and who has access to God's Word to not trust in Him for these things."

Yes, I can say that now because I am now right with God. But when I am away, my flesh takes over. When I am away in my mind from God, I can freak out. Yes, several HDFS models would say that I have more of a cause to be insecure or have a difficult issue with trust because of my past. I will not deny that. But God is bigger than my past. God who has taken away my sin is bigger. My brain most certainly knows this, but when the rest of me - when I panic, do I really remember that? Maybe. Maybe not. It seriously depends. When my hope is in something else besides God - when my hope is in my memory (trying to remember what I did with my flash drive) or in my interviewer (for the job) or for the leasing office (for the place in Ft. C's if I am to live here) or for the Human Resources department in Denver (for the Denver jobs), my hope obviously isn't in God. When it is in both, it ends up stabilizing out with my flesh AND my spirit having more of an equal equalibrium. With each side gaining strength, and with each side fighting to become dominant, my flesh and spirit will struggle. Apart from God.

God, I seriously have no idea what I did with my flash drive, actually, I'm assuming it's in my purse in the dorms, but I'm not sure. Sounds like a trivial request, but could You please protet it with all my ASSIGNMENTS and RESUMES and stuff for the RESEARCH PAPER on it? Just asking You for this makes me trust You more. And, God, I know I felt peace right after the interview. I know I did, and I know I gave it to You in the bus. But, as these things go, I tend to take it back... so I give it to You yet again. If I end up working there - cool. If not, You had a better plan. That's it. The End of Story. Same with the Denver thing. And God, I know You provided the perfect place for me in the Lory Apartments last summer, I pray I see Your hand again at work with my living situation and I can yet praise You and give You Your glory. God, in a way, I'm thankful that I don't have my assignments or the research paper to distract me, so I can come back fully to You - just like You wanted it to be and just like I need it to be so I can come back to that true Rock - true Secure Person, true Anchor, and thus give You glory. God, You really do give me peace, and I praise your for it. Allelua!!!! :)

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