Monday, September 16, 2013

Worshipping my Provider then and now

I'm listening to Shane and Shane's CD "Psalms".  Psalm 13 was one song I would often listen to when I was doing my job search in Fort Collins. Those were hard times. I applied to a crap ton of jobs just to find the group home jobs. Those weren't bad and the clients were great when they listened to staff :D 

But were my group home jobs my dream jobs coming out of grad school? No.   Did God provide still? Yes :)

Now here I am a legal assistant at a Probate and Estates law firm. This is a step down from paralegal, but I am still song substantive legal work. One could say that I am really close to my chosen career. Yes I am. Very close. 

Currently I am on my commute home pondering my Fort Collins job search compared to my paralegal job search. In some ways they were the same; I had some volunteer experience in the field but was looking for something more involved in a paid position. I was also aware of my Aspergers and had help around that and interviews and such. I had to make sure the jobs were on bus lines convenient for me. Most importantly I had a church body supporting me and praying for me in both places :):)

In Fort Collins, I felt alone. I had Mom's worries pressing on me as well as my own and I felt like no one understood that aspect of my situation. In Denver, I had more confidence that countered Mom's worrying. In Fort Collins, I was surrounded by people with good jobs they got by working hard or dumb luck while I struggled to find above minim wage work. In Denver I was still surrounded by people with jobs and people aspiring to get jobs in the legal profession. This was something many volunteers at Colorado Legal Services had in common. In Fort Collins, the job search seemed never ending, and in a way it was. I searched for a job from August 2009 until February 2012. Wow. In Denver I searched from March 2013 until now. I will hope to get promoted within the law firm or find a paralegal job after a few years in my current position. 

What didn't change is my faith in God. In Fort Collins it was faith through frustration and tears as God grew that faith deeper. In Denver it was faith and calling on the lessons I learned in Fort Collins. It was faith growing deeper still. 

As I listen to Psalms and let God reminde of those times I cry remembering the hard times and  I cry in gratefulness that I was never truly alone. I smile because God provided for my material needs then and now, and He provided the sustaining grace to persevere. 

Saturday, September 14, 2013

A flood in my old home

I am still in somewhat of a surreal shock. 

My own state is partially underwater. Though I had a pretty sunny day in Southwest Denver, I know that east of Boaz's side of Parker, there is still flooding. 

And there is flooding in Fort Collins. My old home. 

It hits home when Mom and I hear the news and I start talking about, "Oh yeah, that path is north of Old Town..." and my memories of Fort Collins come back. 

Of walking around Old Town
Of walking down the Spring Creek Trail
Hiking up Horsetooth
Hanging out at Rolland Moore Park
Being a CSU Ram 

I think a lot about the guys' group home where I worked. It is by Overland and Vine. I think they should be ok, but I know two guys had rooms in the basement, so everyone might be on the first and second floor for a bit. 

For some of my friends in the law firm it's still happening "over there." The streets they take to work aren't washed out. Their houses aren't flooded (though one friend had some water in her basement, but she got a dry-vac). I can think it's "over there" because mom's house isn't flooded, and my bus routes work. 

But my heart tells me that it is where my former church family is. My friends' postings on Facebook remind me that my friends are affected or very close to affected areas. 

I am reminded that the flood is in my old home. 

And my old home is in my prayers.