Saturday, March 30, 2013


I just got home from a day at the zoo with Boaz and his son Bobby*. Boaz has Bobby for Spring Break before he goes back to Pennsylvania. Boaz sees Bobby over the summers and school breaks. This is the same boy who may get tested for Asperger Syndrome later. 

*Name changed for purposes of this blog.

As I was preparing to meet Bobby, I did some research on how people come into the role of step-parent. This might become a reality in my life if/when Boaz and I get married. I asked God what He would want for me as a step-parent of a kid with Asperger Syndrome. I knew from my HDFS classes that I wold come alongside Boaz and continue to allow him be the primary parent as far as rule-setting and such. 

One thought that kept coming to me was one word: Mentor 
Image from Google Images
I could be a mentor to Bobby as a) someone who loves Boaz and wants to support him in his parenting and b) as a significant adult in Bobby's life who also happens to have an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). I know somewhat about where Bobby is coming from. Of course, I need to know him as a person first, and that will come over time. But even today, I would notice that he really liked this gravel pit with large pebbles. I said, "That feels really cool on your hands, huh?" Because I knew it was a sensory thing. I also asked him, "You can't stop thinking about those chair-lifts, can you?" Because he had a pretty strong one-track mind about that until Boaz took him and I on the chair-lifts over the zoo. 

Bobby let me hold his hand to get off of the chair-lift and let me help him with his ice-cream. He asked Boaz if I was going to be around tomorrow, and Boaz explained that I would be celebrating Easter with my family and they would celebrate with theirs. 

Tonight, I was hit with the reality that God had been preparing my heart to be this eight year old boy's mentor for a long time. I was a nanny to some kids for two summers a while back and I've learned how to bond with kids that were not biologically or legally mine. Finally, I've had a longing to be an example to others on the Autism Spectrum ever since I got my diagnosis and went to two of Temple Grandin's lectures. 

God works in mysterious but awesome ways. I continue to pray that as I grow closer to Boaz and Bobby, that God would continue preparing my heart for the most important mentoring job I will probably have: Helping the man I love parent and show Christ to his son, and show this boy that God allows us to triumph over challenges He has allowed in our lives. 

Saturday, March 09, 2013

The Struggle In Between

Francesca Basttistelli "Time In Between" 
Don't take much for this crazy world
To rob me of my peace
And the enemy of my soul
Says You're holding out on me
So I stand here lifting empty hands
For you to fill me up again

But it's the time in between
That I fall down to my knees
Waiting on what You'll bring
And the things that I can't see
I know my song's incomplete
Still I'll sing in the time in between
[ From: ] 
Boaz and I were talking last night about different struggles we had with  being single in our pre-coupledom days. We both admitted that it's hard to admit  that we struggled with wondering how God would fill us in that 'time in between.' 

Sometimes I think there is shame in saying, "I'm impatient. I want something and I struggle to find it on my own rather than trust God for my desires." There is this sense that to be a good Christian, I have to patiently wait and God's grace in giving me what I want is contingent upon how patiently I wait. That shame tends to make me not talk about how I give in to my desires - even to God. 

Boaz felt the same way and we talked about how God grows us as we come to Him in the midst of the struggle in our 'time in between' - our time in between jobs, our time in our singleness, our tine in between wanting something and getting it. When Boaz and I were real about our desperation before God and how God came through in giving us the patience to wait and the comfort that He was there, I felt something cool. 

I felt that shame I had felt earlier about my struggles disappear  It was replaced with gratitude toward God :) Gratitude for: His blood covering my sin when I did give in without Him, His promise that He is enough, His comfort, and His love as a Father and Lord to tell me that He loved me and He has a plan for me :) Boaz felt the same way :) 

In the struggles in between as we wait for our hearts' desires, we learned that there is no shame in the struggle as we cried out to God  and waited as He showed us that He is enough :)