When Heaven and Earth Collide

I really like the song "Heaven and Earth" by Hillsong United / Hillsong Worship. As always, they sing Truth so poetically and they rock! If we ever sing this song in choir, I'll be happy squealing to my choir friends later heee heeee! 

The song is talking about Christ coming to earth, and isn't that the crux of everything else related to our faith? 

I was listening to this song while working on my other blog (Yes, Katie started ANOTHER blog) and I was writing a 'tell your life's story' post and I realized that when my circumstances took a shift, God's sovereignty met my life. Heaven and Earth collided. God is always with us and always working out His plans, but sometimes He does something that seems weird or something and you look back later and say, "Wait... WHAT??? What just happened???" 

For instance, a malnourished infant with bad eyesight and exposure to Hepatitis B (and who may have survived measles and meningitis at this point) was transferred from a government orphanage to a nonprofit orphanage. She was in a particular one run by a particular agency that created her file as a child available for adoption. Heaven met earth because a woman  would walk into said adoption agency, look at that particular file, take a leap of faith, and ultimately bring this little girl home to be her daughter. In that child's life, Heaven and Earth collided during that transfer between orphanages. 

We hear about Heaven and Earth colliding when people say these things in stories: 

"And somehow at just the right time ..." 

"I just got this feeling.... something told me to..."

"I sat by this person who just happened to be..." 

"If I hadn't gone through.... I wouldn't have...." 

"Going through .... helped me to..." 

So why does God throw in these wild turns in people's lives? To keep the universe interesting? So everything works out in the end? That can be true, but there is a greater reason beyond things working out in our lives. Sometimes Heaven and Earth collide, but that meeting don't necessarily bring material good or success. Sometimes people just get through the struggle of life and they somehow know that they have the strength to make it through hard times. Sometimes people go through hard things and they are desperate for hope, so they seek it out. In that, Jesus reaches to them through His work and through His people. Heaven and Earth collide to show people Christ and point people to Him. 

Heaven and Earth collide

Savior for everyone has come

Bringing the dead to life

All for the glory of Your Name

By His stripes are healed

By His death we can live

In Jesus' Name

In Jesus Name

All oppression shall cease

Every captive released

In Jesus' name

In Jesus' name

Go for it!

There are times where God just gives you a kick to do something. He gave David the guts to defeat Goliath. He gave Moses a really big push to lead his people from Egypt. Wake up calls can ceom from anywhere with God. Paul received a blinding (haha) welcome on the road to Damascus.

I always thought these pushes from God were events that happened to other people. Then God started pushing me. At first, I thought, "Seriously, God, You want WHAT?"

Now the pieces are coming together slowly.

God wants me to share my story with others on a more public forum. It may come in the form of speaking, writing, blogging, etc. God wants me to share my adoption story, the struggles I had in childhood, and the challenges I face due to a disability and unique developmental history.

You can read about some of that in my other posts scattered throughout this blog. Seriously, I don't know if there is one post that sums up my life story. I'm sure I'll find it if I take the time to go through my blog, but I'm about to head to bed.

But anyway, this one blog per week thing is part of going for it. This is part of making writing a part of my life so I can use writing to share my story with others.

God is the author of my life and I am merely beginning the adventure of retelling His story.

Colorado State of Body Image

Sometime this summer I’m going to start the diet in the book “State of Slim.” Several co-workers did the diet and one was kind enough to purchase the book for me since I showed interest in the book (and hopefully getting my Bri-Bri on board).

One thing this makes me think of is my body image issues. I blogged about that earlier, but it’s been a while.

Even though I’m married and I have a husband that loves my body the way it is because he loves the soul inside, I still get hung up on my body image sometimes. For example, my mom tells me I have to stay a good weight to have a healthy pregnancy (when the time comes), and sometimes if I’m hanging out with my mom and I’m wearing a more form fitting top, she asks me if I’m putting on weight.  Then all those thoughts of “I’m not skinny enough, I’m too fat in my mom’s eyes, I’m not ideal enough.” Come into my head.

I’m incorporating more jogging/walking and weight lifting into my life because I just sit at a desk all day. Also, with the amount of sweets my co-workers, clients, and I bring into the kitchen, exercise is necessary so we all don’t become blobs haha! I’m also drinking slim fast shakes for meals sometimes, especially if I indulge in a really fatty meal with my mother in law or if we go to the store and I get a yummy treat.

Even though I still have my negative body image thoughts, I am making these changes more for my overall health. I do have hypertension and my mom and I wonder if it’s hereditary since I haven’t been eating really bad food for most of my life. I also have been doing some research on preemie/very low birth weight babies and long term outcomes. The studies seem to say that our bodies are more vulnerable to disease etc. in adulthood since we didn’t get so great of a start earlier in life. Therefore, I see these lifestyle changes more in a preventative light.

I know the body image thing will be a battle when I do this diet so changing my thinking to say it is a preventative program helps. My husband telling me now that I am beautiful helps keep those negative thoughts away, and knowing I am made by a loving Creator is the ultimate way of silencing any negativity around the unique way that I am made.

9 Months a Stepmom

Little Batman in a little bat-cave

As of May 16, I've been a stepmom for 9 months. Wow! I met Daniel when he was 8 when he was out in Colorado for spring break. Brian and I went to  the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo with him. When he wanted to ride the ski-lifts up the mountain and when we were on them, he leaned out far to look and I instinctively put my arm in front of him.

Now he's a big 10 year old eating off the grown-up menu. This May, Bri-Bri got him some Lego Movie sheets because he was getting too old for his Cars sheets. When he sprawled out on his bed to test his sheets and rest his head on the Emit side of his pillow, I noticed he's 2/3 of the length of the bed. His shoes are almost as large as mine - almost. He's still smaller and shorter than me and has to use a booster seat in the car.

Seeing myself as a valid part of the parenting team took a few months. I found myself conforming to the idea that I wasn't Daniel's 'real' parent because he didn't share my DNA or I didn't have a court order of adoption with his name on it. Yet I reminded myself that step-parent has the word parent in it. Therefore, I could think of myself as a parent even though Daniel docent call me mom. I'm OK that he doesn't call me mom. He has a real mom in Fountain, Colorado and he also calls his step-father by his first name.

The support I receive as a new stepmom has been immensely helpful. Beth at work has been a really great resource.  She has a six-year old step-daughter.I talked to her a lot those first few months after marriage and the months before. Oddly enough, drafting estate plan summaries helped validate my position as a step mom. Clients who have their stepchildren serve as fiduciaries meant that they trusted those children in that role. Clients who left their stepchildren a share of their trust or estate meant that they wished to provide for the children beyond their lives.

The coolest validation came from my mom when she mentioned my wedding in her Christmas card. She said something about how she has a sweet son-in-law and step-grandson. Did I cry in a good way? Oh, yes, I did. Of course, Mom still gets questions from me that start out: "So when I was a kid did you ever..." One day she told me that she thought I was good stepparent to Daniel. Again, I cried in a good way.

I'd be lying if I didn't say there were challenges in being a stepparent. One of the hardest things is watching him long for more dad time and wondering why the judge allowed his mother to take him to Pittsburgh for so long. I also struggle with not holding a grudge against Daniel's mother when she frustrates my Bri-Bri. When I hear about others reacting to his ADD/ potential Asperger moments, I get upset because his needs are not getting met when others don't react to him in an understanding way.  Daniel's past hasn't been easy and I want him to have a better smoother development than I had.  As a step-mom, I do what I can to give him the love and support he needs when he is with Bri-Bri and I. 

Letting Bri-Bri take charge of the parenting wasn't hard for me. He's a good dad and he connects with Daniel well. I enjoy being the supportive adult who reinforces what Bri-Bri says. I have had to get used to allowing Daniel to be more vocal about his disappointment or about his frustration that I was allowed to be when I was growing up.  I want to teach Daniel things that will help him, so the important thing is sharing that with my Bri-Bri so we can approach these things as a parenting team. 

The best part of being a step-mom is having the opportunity to love a really sweet unique little guy. I'm thankful that I get to be an influence in his life and I pray for guidance in this role. Most of all, I pray God will use me in his life so he comes to know his Savior. Being part of Daniel's life and seeing him smile and grow is a blessing indeed :) 

Daniel and I in front of a Lego US Capitol

Welcoming my love home sweet home

There's something sweet about seeing my love off to work and welcoming him when he comes home :)  My Bri-Bri has a part time job at a parenting supervision site where he observes parents who are spending time with their children in the contet of supervised visitation. He got this job after his internship with the same agency and I am proud of him!!

Anyway, I am waiting for him to come home so he can have someone to hug and tell about his day. There's just something sweet and 'homey' about that, and there's something sweet in wishing him a good shift as I kiss him before he walks out the door :)

This sweetness goes both ways :) I feel happy when my sweet hubby kisses me in the mornings at the light rail station and wishes me a good day, and feel happy when I come home from a day at work and get to hold his hands and kiss his lips when I get into the car to go home from the light rail station.

As we go on in our marriage, I hope we don't take these little gestures for granted because having each other before and after we go and work a day at the office or a morning at the parenting place is a sweet ending to a work day and the begining of us reconnecting for the rest of the day.

Aaaaww! :)

Ephesians 5 for God

We are studying Ephesians at Southeast Christian Church. Today we'd cover the second part of Ephesians including the bits about husbands and wives. At Summitview, we talked about this in the form of compliementary roles. Thus, I got very used to the same message preached whenever Ephesians 5 was taught.

 

Southeast's teaching wasn't radically different, but the pastor emphasized the verse on submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. He discussed employee / employer relationships, spousal relationships, dating relationships, friendships, and parenting as it relates to Ephesians 5:21.

I have heard this before, but what struck me today was that I was to submit not just to be a good Christian or to be a more biblical wife, but out of reverence for Christ. Whether it was doing housework while my sweet hubby works on his homework for his Human Services degree, or whether it's bookkeeping for our joint account as a role we mutually agreed I would do, I am doing it not just for 'good wife' awards, but because I want to love my sweet hubby the way Christ loves me. Same with helping my stepson. I want to be a good stepparent to him, not to show off my HDFS skills or to get praises for being his at-Dad's-house-interventionist, but because I love him and I want to love him like Christ loves him. For both my guys, I ask God what He wants me to do to love them so that they both grow in their faiths toward Him more. Submission and roles in a marriage and family are not 'who can do a role better' competitions. Today's message reminded me these roles and whys of submission are because God loved us and gave Himself for us, so we may imitate Him to show His light to the world.

Proverbs 5 Just Got Real

Today's reading in the Southeast reading guide was Proverbs 5 where Solomon was instructing his son to listen to wisdom. Before I became a stepmom, I would read this and know the importance of wisdom. 

Today, as I read the words, "My son..." I looked over at my step-son who was knocking out bad guys with The Hulk on his Wii-U. I thought of Solomon writing these words as he watched his son and suddenly Proverbs 5 took on a whole other meaning. 

My guys ready to save the day on Halloween! 

If Daniel values wisdom, he will make good choices as he grows up. He will listen to God, the source of wisdom. He will not waste his time and money on things that do not matter. 

I paused as I read the bit about adultery and thought about how teenage boys can be enticed by seeing bad things on the internet and even hypersexualized TV and movies. Daniel is a sweet stepson, kind to his cousins who are girls, and likes making his baby sister at his mom's house giggle. I prayed Daniel would keep that kindness and respect for women as he gets older and not see them only as objects. My sweet Bri-Bri is teaching him how to be a good man, and that is something I am very thankful that Daniel has in his life. 

When reading the bit where Solomon instructs his son to love the wife of his youth, I prayed that Daniel would find a wife that would love him for who he is and be his helpmate. 

Proverbs isn't a list of wise things to note. Proverbs is a letter from a father to a son. Solomon loved his son and wanted the best for him, so he wrote Proverbs to instruct him. I love Daniel and want him to know God and follow Him. That is why I prayed the words of Proverbs 5 over him today.