Posted on my D-Team blog:
True to Katie fashion, I cried. True to my new identity in Christ, I praised God because He is good and He will take care of the family no matter what. I could cry for them, but I did not despair completely. I wondered how Mrs. Chandler and the children were doing, but I didn’t say: ”Now where is God, why did He allow this for this family? What will Mrs. Chandler & children do if Matt dies?”
This reaction is definitely fruit of God’s progressive sanctification. Even a month ago, I couldn’t have taken the news that way. If this had happened earlier, I probably would’ve cried, been angry at God, and filled my prayers and mind with doubts about God and His goodness. Yet this is not so.
Today I was listening to Natalie Grant’s song “I will not be moved.” The second verse of this song captures where I have been previous to this: Bitterness has plagued my heart / Many times before / My life has been like broken glass / And I have kept the score / Of all my shattered dreams and though it seemed / That I was far too gone My brokenness helped me to see / It’s grace I’m standing on In my head, I have a record of where I thought God had withheld His goodness or had given me cause not to trust Him. In this mindset, I would have added Chandler’s health situation to that tally of keeping score of reasons why God can’t be trusted. His situation reminds me of the time when my uncle got cancer. I was alone in that struggle because I was helping Mom, and I watched as my aunt went from caregiver to widow. This reopened these wounds, and I could nurse bitterness toward God in this situation.
However, I latched onto the truth repeated in the chorus of the song: I will stumble / I will fall down / But I will not be moved / I will make mistakes / I will face heartaches / But I will not be moved / On Christ the Solid Rock I stand / All other ground is sinking sand / I will not be moved [emphasis mine on both parts of the song]. The basis for my trust in God through all this is His character: As Savior, as Lord, as Holy, Good, True, Faithful, Just, Powerful, Provider, etc. The more I learn about and meditate on God’s character, the more I realize I can trust Him. As I choose to replace lies about security from the world with Truth, I more readily default to seeing things in view of who God is. I am not perfect in this, but God is bearing fruit in my faith.
How is this reaction Biblically feminine as the title states? Well, Mitch pulled what Biblical Femininity was from the Bible which is an ever-increasing trust in and submission to God in all areas of our lives. Trusting God with Chandler’s health, Mrs. Chandler and their children’s provision instead of worrying about them is a way I can honor God and see Him as their ultimate Husband / Father. This is something God wants out of all His daughters.
In sum, I still shed tears over hard circumstances in my or others’ lives. I still ache for women that loose husbands and children that loose fathers. However, God is changing my worry over the situation to worship of Him because He can be trusted. Though I will not achieve perfection in this area while on earth, I am reacting less like the world and more like a woman who knows her eternal Father and Husband can be trusted through anything.
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