My aunt's Down Syndrome doesn't stop her from helping her mother. She often gets her mother's purse or makes sure she has everything she needs. She also reminds her mother that my mother and I are waiting for her. When I ask my aunt, she will tell me about putting away her mother's groceries or helping with breakfast when she is at her mother's house for the weekend.
Of course, my aunt has limits on how much she is able to help. Sometimes she gets impatient or wishes her mother would walk faster. It's hard on my aunt when her mother snaps at her more because she's in pain or frustrated rather than because my aunt did something wrong. I explained to my aunt on several occasions that "Well, your mom is mad because she's in pain or because she can't do something. Not because you did something wrong." Sometimes she can be blunt when talking about her mother. Tonight she told me, "I'm going to tell my mom you're ready. She's slow." I cracked up once my aunt walked down the hallway to summon her mother. My aunt can say the darndest things because she has no verbal filter. Yet she thanked me when I helped her mother with her coat after dinner.
I help my mother on a more sophisticated level by listening when she is upset (well, trying to), or doing things such as helping her around the house. However, I am limited in what I can do. I can't drive Mom around because, well, I can't drive :D Other times, my autism specrumness gets in the way. I can't understand why she has to think about a situation I solved in my head within moments. Sometimes I don't know whether what I said makes sense if she looks confused. And if Mom snaps at me out of frustration due to her own circumstances, it still hurts even though I am a 28 year old post-bachelor's paralegal student that's only home temporarily.
Yet God has me in this role. Yes, I had an unhealthy emotionally enmeshed situation with my mom earlier in my life, but I think it's getting better. I can see that God is using my experiences to help my aunt cope with issues she faces with being her mom's 'little helper.' I understand the challenges of a parent sometimes needing to rely on me like a child, and more importantly, I understand what it feels like to help someone else even in spite of my own limitations. Whenever I share these things with my aunt, I am thankful that God gave me this role in all its joys and struggles. Because in doing so, He is allowing me to help someone else.
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