Saturday, March 09, 2013

The Struggle In Between

Francesca Basttistelli "Time In Between" 
Don't take much for this crazy world
To rob me of my peace
And the enemy of my soul
Says You're holding out on me
So I stand here lifting empty hands
For you to fill me up again

But it's the time in between
That I fall down to my knees
Waiting on what You'll bring
And the things that I can't see
I know my song's incomplete
Still I'll sing in the time in between
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net ] 
Boaz and I were talking last night about different struggles we had with  being single in our pre-coupledom days. We both admitted that it's hard to admit  that we struggled with wondering how God would fill us in that 'time in between.' 

Sometimes I think there is shame in saying, "I'm impatient. I want something and I struggle to find it on my own rather than trust God for my desires." There is this sense that to be a good Christian, I have to patiently wait and God's grace in giving me what I want is contingent upon how patiently I wait. That shame tends to make me not talk about how I give in to my desires - even to God. 

Boaz felt the same way and we talked about how God grows us as we come to Him in the midst of the struggle in our 'time in between' - our time in between jobs, our time in our singleness, our tine in between wanting something and getting it. When Boaz and I were real about our desperation before God and how God came through in giving us the patience to wait and the comfort that He was there, I felt something cool. 

I felt that shame I had felt earlier about my struggles disappear  It was replaced with gratitude toward God :) Gratitude for: His blood covering my sin when I did give in without Him, His promise that He is enough, His comfort, and His love as a Father and Lord to tell me that He loved me and He has a plan for me :) Boaz felt the same way :) 

In the struggles in between as we wait for our hearts' desires, we learned that there is no shame in the struggle as we cried out to God  and waited as He showed us that He is enough :) 

1 comment:

2xA Ron said...

Wow, so true. Especially with relationships, but also with a lot of other things it's easy for me to see God's grace in provision as something I have to earn either by waiting patiently enough or praying hard enough, or having enough faith. Under that pressure, it's really easy to put on a mask, like you said, and not even admit to God how hard it is and what you really feel.

But that's all wrong! It's not grace if you earn it, and the gospel and every gift of God is grace all the way down. That is a relief; let's me be real with God, which is what I guess He wants more than my "perfect" patience, faith, or prayers.

Thanks for posting this, seriously!