A perfect piece in His hand

"On a nationwide level, the Puzzle Piece symbol reflects the mystery and complexity of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Also, since every puzzle piece is different in some way, a puzzle piece accurately represents the diversity of the individuals affected. " - Autism UGA blog 

Today is Autism Awareness day. In June 2010, I was diagnosed with PPD-NOS mainly because no one knows why I didn't speak until age two. Was it because of my sparsely enriched environment in the Philippines or would I have had a speech delay even if I was born in the US and in a typical childhood environment? Had I not had the speech delay, I would have been diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. 

Autism Awareness month is meaningful to me because I worked in a group home where almost all the clients were on the autism spectrum. I did my best to help them using the training I had as well as personal experience. For example, I knew when one was too upset to use his words, so I would say, "I know you're too frustrated to talk, so could I just see a sign." When he would sign what he wanted, then we were able to move on. 

Today I was thinking about the significance of using a puzzle piece to represent autism. As the quote states, it's to represent the mystery and complexity of the disorder. For me, it also represents a piece that was missing for so long. I didn't know why I had these special interests and why I couldn't hold a conversation like other children. I didn't know why sudden loud sounds bothered me. I didn't know why I could learn about human development but yet have trouble interacting with my adult peers. The diagnosis of an autism spectrum disorder (ASD) was the final piece to my identity I was missing. 

When someone is handed a puzzle piece, it's meant to be put somewhere. Perhaps this also represents autism awareness: How best do we integrate those with autism spectrum disorders into society? I would suggest what Dr. Grandin would say: Place us in work environments that use our strengths. For example, I don't mind researching case-law and statutes, and I could do that to write a legal brief. Could I give a speech in front of the Colorado Supreme Court for half an hour? Probably not. Could I write the brief the attorney would use in her arguments. Perhaps after a few years :) Kanner, who researched autism last century found that an individual who enjoyed math and numbers became an accountant. And of course, there's Dr. Grandin herself who owns her own Livestock Handling business and is an avid researcher at Colorado State University. Her love of animals and fascination with animal behavior has made her one of the most epic scientists ever!!! 

When I see myself as a puzzle-piece, I do not think of it negatively. I see myself as a piece in God's hand. He has crafted me into His exact shape, and He has a place for me. He has placed me as an employee at a group home, as a teacher in Children's Ministry at Summitview, as a volunteer at Colorado Legal Services, as a research assistant at Colorado State University, and more recently, as a unique part of my Boaz's heart :D 

More importantly, God has placed me in His larger plan to show Himself to the world as Savior and God. He is using my life in this way. How, I don't know yet. However, Romans 8 says that God uses ALL THINGS for the good of those who love Him. He uses  people going about their normal lives, missionaries, pastors, parents, and little puzzle pieces like me to show that in Christ, we have hope that overcomes our obstacles. I am not a mystery to God, and He knows exactly where to place me in His plan. I am a perfect piece in His hand.