Monday, February 10, 2014

That could've been me

Nothing like the past coming up in the oddest of ways.

My law firm handles estate planning (writing wills and trusts) as well as probate and trust administration (handling legal and financial issues of individuals who have passed away). My job touches both areas of law as well.

Today I had to send some documents along with a death certificate to a county clerk and recorder office. As I read over the death certificate to make sure everything matched with the other documents, I saw that the individual died from a gunshot wound. At home.

The individual may have inflicted the deadly wound upon himself. Of course, I don't know the situation for sure. He could've been doing some maintenance on a hunting rifle and something happened. But I got chills thinking about it for too long.

Because I could've ended it all even before I began this blog. Even before I graduated from college.

He left behind a family. A house. Sure, the family will be financially stable still with the house and his earnings, but he will never make a trip to Home Depot to get new curtain rods or an odd or end to fix something there. He will never see his kids graduate from high school. He will never tell his wife he loves her before they go to work. If he was out of a job, he would never get a call from possibly a position perfectly suited for his qualifications.

I felt sad that he might have given up. Because I know how that feels. Hence I was compelled to write the previous post for anyone that feels like giving up.

Because I wish I could've told that person named on the certificate that the feeling of wanting to give up on life is real and scary, and searching for hope in the midst of that is worth it. Because you realize what you would have left behind. And you know that there's a reason to live.

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