Writing about my life is boring. I'm just 1 patient transporter, 1 child of God. But there is the whole WORLD out there to think about!!! Hence, this post will focus on much larger issues!
I just read an old TIME magazine report of the Sunni / Shiite schism in Iraq and the Middle East. It seems the rift began after the initial creation of the religions of Islam. They were going through establishing a church leadership and they had a disagreement on who would be the first Imam (the Muslim equivalent of the Pope). The Sunnis wanted one and the Shiites wanted another leader. The Sunni group had their favorite established as the first Imam, and as human nature is rather greedy, they have 'lorded' over the Shiite groups for the most part, thus that whole domination / oppression has caused the problems seen today in Iraq.
The consequences of a civil war in Iraq could flare up the Sunni / Shiite divide elsewhere, and experts say it's starting already with groups in the West Bank / Gaza and Lebanon being somewhat at odds.
So, the question TIME ultimately asks through this article is "What is there to do about this issue?" More accurately, "What can the west (more accurately, the United States) do about bringing this divide to an end and what will it cost us (the US mostly and then Europe following?)" The pending unrest is something a lot of people understandably get worked-up about because it means more unrest which would cause economic failures and more importantly, humanitarian suffering.
The question that I and other Believers must ask when we read this is: What is God's hand in this? We all know the end is coming. John Meyer is a rather adamant at teaching that the end is quite soon – as in within 1-3 generations. At first I listened with a smile and nod when he would get into it in a sermon. Then I would shrug it off as 'John's speculation' and begin more urgent things like planning for medical school.
However, the world situation is getting rather urgent with the seemingly under-focused situation in Darfur and with the pending unrest that's in the Middle East. Also, with the sharp increase in the number of active Muslims that is reported here and there on the news from different surveys and censuses, I now see a rather clear opposition to Christianity coming up which would be one of the causes of heightened persecution. Another thing is the rise in atheism / humanism. So, considering those 'current-events' indicators, I'm starting to agree with John Meyer and others (I think several ICR people are in this group) that believe the End Times are rather close by.
What does this mean for me? Not me as in my own small life. But my prayer life and how I ask God to use me. How should I pray then? For where I'm going. I'm going into at least two more years of being a student in a heavily humanistic field. Oh, God, I know You are reaching out to the field of Academia, to Your children in the ivory towers that still look to Your throne. I pray You will keep then strong, bring more of them – students, faculty to You before humanism becomes more of a norm, before it starts to cloud Your light more. The ivory towers will come down, but You, the Word of all knowledge will prevail.
And for the medical field, I offer that same prayer. That though we come close to defying mortality, though we have internal pacemakers and virus / cancer destroying agents, we have the human condition to battle – our own selfish ambitions, our patients' sicknesses and accidents. We hide behind stone and glass walls, complex molecules, and the ever-present technology that we claim will aid us in certain cures. But I know that the medical field takes a toll on its people because we see so much suffering even through medicine's victories. I pray all of those in the medical community will reach out to God, especially as they see their patients that reach for Him as they take in the cures at hand.
I wondered briefly how these fields would be affected by the End Times, and I realize that these are the fields – Academia and Medicine that have the most strongly become humanistic, but yet, history has shown that followers of God had influenced them first. Hospitals were set up to treat those society shunned because of illness, schools were set up to teach students about the Word and God's Creation. Yet these institutions have fallen away, and I truly do believe that in all the nations / groups that praise God for eternity, He wants the remnant of the schooled, the healers that walk in His footsteps to be among those that endure to the end.
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Saturday, February 24, 2007
On Mr. John the Meyer's thoughts on Worship
Even though I'm away from Summitview, I still like to get teachings off the website from time to time. Since I work some weekends, I don't get to attend church every Sunday, so getting the extra teachings help tremendously with maintaining / growing my walk in Christ (Thank You God!)
So, anyway, today I listened to John Meyer's talk on Worship. He spoke a lot about the Christian Music industry. I thought about it, and I think about how I (and others) utilize Christian music. Most of the time, we listen to it for background noise that is encouraging. That is, I listened to it while doing homework, and I listen to it on Sundays as kind of a musical Sabbath – where that is the only kind of music I voluntarily listen to. But, what is the difference when I am actually worshiping? That is, connecting to God using music as a medium through which there is mutual communication?
I'd like to think of it as a catalyst where God and I are both reacting with each other through that medium. When this happens, my thoughts are on God alone, and not on the music. When my focus is on the music, I am trying to sing along, I am going wild and crazy to impress people. Sometimes, I like to do the opposite of the crowd at The Rock worship nights: I am silent, my eyes are closed, no lights flashing, no concentrating on singing right. And then I hear God. I feel God, and I allow my heart tobe laid bare toward Him. And then I start to pray. Spirit filled prayers for my friends, His kingdom, praises for His blessings, His creation, petition for my needs, etc.
Worship comes to me when everything could be stripped away except for my soul and God. Worship came many times sitting in the science lecture halls, where I literally praised the works of His hands that were right in front of me. The molecule He spoke and shaped into existence was the tug at my heart for it to come to its Maker. Worship came when I knelt down on the floor in my bedroom listening to a Christian Radio song two days after my uncle died. I cried and I cried, but it was the same: my soul laid bare to God – yes, in praise because He was my stronghold and He would pull me through, and in prayer – of grief of which there are really no tangible words to pray, only groanings of the soul which God understands. And worship comes to me during the happiest times - upon graduation or acceptance into graduate school, or even more joyfully, when I realized a friend was now a sister in Christ, yes, worship came as well when in my heart, I danced with joy with God and mye heart cheered and laughed alonside His Spirit. Music can indeed facilitate this, but this is the essence and goal of worship.
So, anyway, today I listened to John Meyer's talk on Worship. He spoke a lot about the Christian Music industry. I thought about it, and I think about how I (and others) utilize Christian music. Most of the time, we listen to it for background noise that is encouraging. That is, I listened to it while doing homework, and I listen to it on Sundays as kind of a musical Sabbath – where that is the only kind of music I voluntarily listen to. But, what is the difference when I am actually worshiping? That is, connecting to God using music as a medium through which there is mutual communication?
I'd like to think of it as a catalyst where God and I are both reacting with each other through that medium. When this happens, my thoughts are on God alone, and not on the music. When my focus is on the music, I am trying to sing along, I am going wild and crazy to impress people. Sometimes, I like to do the opposite of the crowd at The Rock worship nights: I am silent, my eyes are closed, no lights flashing, no concentrating on singing right. And then I hear God. I feel God, and I allow my heart tobe laid bare toward Him. And then I start to pray. Spirit filled prayers for my friends, His kingdom, praises for His blessings, His creation, petition for my needs, etc.
Worship comes to me when everything could be stripped away except for my soul and God. Worship came many times sitting in the science lecture halls, where I literally praised the works of His hands that were right in front of me. The molecule He spoke and shaped into existence was the tug at my heart for it to come to its Maker. Worship came when I knelt down on the floor in my bedroom listening to a Christian Radio song two days after my uncle died. I cried and I cried, but it was the same: my soul laid bare to God – yes, in praise because He was my stronghold and He would pull me through, and in prayer – of grief of which there are really no tangible words to pray, only groanings of the soul which God understands. And worship comes to me during the happiest times - upon graduation or acceptance into graduate school, or even more joyfully, when I realized a friend was now a sister in Christ, yes, worship came as well when in my heart, I danced with joy with God and mye heart cheered and laughed alonside His Spirit. Music can indeed facilitate this, but this is the essence and goal of worship.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
The Threshold
fromMy other blog
Today I had to take a patient from the front entrance of the hospital to the Emergency Department (ED). As I was talking to the patient just to find out how she was feeling and everything, I passed a large room (one of like 4) that is labeled "Resuscitation Room." They can hold two patients and they are huge rooms. Patients only go in there if they are in really bad shape - need lots of medications and help breathing and everything. One of them was occupied. I heard the sounds of a heart monitor. But it wasn't the normal small beeps that indicate that the patient's heart was beating. The machine was literally screaming - that little beep turned into one long blaring beep. That meant that the patient's heart was stopped. I knew that was what it was, but at the time, I was focused on the patient I was bringing in.
After dropping her off, I passed the Resuscitation Room again. This time it was quiet. When the patient was there, the curtain was drawn. But this time, there was a space where a stretcher had once stood and around it lay wrappings from syringes and other equipment. The room was still, but yet, I knew that a few moments ago, it was occupied and probably full of people trying to get this patient's heart started.
But where was the patient?
Was he or she in another part of the ED?
Or had he or she died?
Right there? In that room? Right by where I was walking with my patient?
Chills just hit me along with just this feeling of how odd it was that I was on the threshold of a room where someone may well have passed away. And they too were on the threshold. When the machine was blaring instead of rhythmically beating - when their heart was stopped instead of normally working, that patient was on the threshold between life and death. Medication and other techniques could've brought him or her back, but God had His final say ultimately.
I left the ED and my dispatcher said that I didn't need to do any more transports for the moment. So, I went to an isolated corner by our office and knelt to pray. For the patient whereever he or she was, and for the family wherever they were. And for myself, that God would calm me down so I could finish my shift. I cried right there - just me and Him. God - the Creator of all, may have taken demanded the life from one person, but yet at the next moment, comforted one of His children.
"....The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised." Job 1:21
Today I had to take a patient from the front entrance of the hospital to the Emergency Department (ED). As I was talking to the patient just to find out how she was feeling and everything, I passed a large room (one of like 4) that is labeled "Resuscitation Room." They can hold two patients and they are huge rooms. Patients only go in there if they are in really bad shape - need lots of medications and help breathing and everything. One of them was occupied. I heard the sounds of a heart monitor. But it wasn't the normal small beeps that indicate that the patient's heart was beating. The machine was literally screaming - that little beep turned into one long blaring beep. That meant that the patient's heart was stopped. I knew that was what it was, but at the time, I was focused on the patient I was bringing in.
After dropping her off, I passed the Resuscitation Room again. This time it was quiet. When the patient was there, the curtain was drawn. But this time, there was a space where a stretcher had once stood and around it lay wrappings from syringes and other equipment. The room was still, but yet, I knew that a few moments ago, it was occupied and probably full of people trying to get this patient's heart started.
But where was the patient?
Was he or she in another part of the ED?
Or had he or she died?
Right there? In that room? Right by where I was walking with my patient?
Chills just hit me along with just this feeling of how odd it was that I was on the threshold of a room where someone may well have passed away. And they too were on the threshold. When the machine was blaring instead of rhythmically beating - when their heart was stopped instead of normally working, that patient was on the threshold between life and death. Medication and other techniques could've brought him or her back, but God had His final say ultimately.
I left the ED and my dispatcher said that I didn't need to do any more transports for the moment. So, I went to an isolated corner by our office and knelt to pray. For the patient whereever he or she was, and for the family wherever they were. And for myself, that God would calm me down so I could finish my shift. I cried right there - just me and Him. God - the Creator of all, may have taken demanded the life from one person, but yet at the next moment, comforted one of His children.
"....The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised." Job 1:21
Friday, February 02, 2007
Changing
I have had my job at the hospital for 6 months and have been out of college for nearly 9. Something I thought of for the past week is how far I've come in this time and what has changed. One thing I have had to come to grips with is that I am no longer part of the church in Ft. Collins. Though that is obvious in some respects, I've been trying to fit in and keep in touch like I was still part of my small close-knit student group. I never truly 'left' with a ceremony like the laying of hands like several other seniors, but it really wasn't all that necessary since all I was doing was moving to my home city before pursueing graduate school. But realizing that I wasn't part of the inner circle was hard to come to grips with.
But what hasn't changed is that I am connected to these people as one who has watched them grow in their faith and one who has fellowshipped with them in trials and rejoicing. They will always be in my prayers and it will be a blessing if we ever meet again (God willing.) The unity in Christ truly means that saying goodbye doesn't mean saying goodbye forever. It just means this: that I was glad to be in their walk with Christ and glad they were in mine, and now God is calling us our seperate ways.
To my friends, wherever they may be when they read this, watching you grow and change in the hand of God was truly amazing. I pray that you all will stay strong in the faith. Until we finish running the race, run hard and run rejoicing.
But what hasn't changed is that I am connected to these people as one who has watched them grow in their faith and one who has fellowshipped with them in trials and rejoicing. They will always be in my prayers and it will be a blessing if we ever meet again (God willing.) The unity in Christ truly means that saying goodbye doesn't mean saying goodbye forever. It just means this: that I was glad to be in their walk with Christ and glad they were in mine, and now God is calling us our seperate ways.
To my friends, wherever they may be when they read this, watching you grow and change in the hand of God was truly amazing. I pray that you all will stay strong in the faith. Until we finish running the race, run hard and run rejoicing.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
An interesting parallel
So, if you all don't know, I have this other bloggy blog blog titled:Premed Clinicals which documents interesting insights I gain from working 40 hours / week at my local hospital. I've posted a TON on that... ok, not a TON, but I visit that along with my new fave website:Mescape. SO, what I realized is that if my online time is representative of what consumes me, I spend a lot of time being pre-med, thinking about pre-med stuff, and basically worrying about all things pre-med like applications and such.
I'm also going through the book of Luke (as I have been going through all the Gospels ever since.... September?) Anyway, I do spend a decent amount of time praying and thinking about God, but what really truly consumes me? Tonight I brought a very large non-premed (gasp) burden to God and I've felt quite at peace about that because I know that it is in His hands and I think I know how He might use it for His kingdom.
ANYWAY, tonight, hate to say, is a rather rare exception. Everyone at work knows me as the pre-med girl. Everyone in the hospital is starting to know this as well. I went through a phase where I was quite close to flaunting it when God humbled me... Secondly, people at the hospital know me as this innocent sheltered 'do no bad' girl. My church here in Denver talks a lot about living as aliens and strangers in this world of non-Christiandom. But my identity as a 'religious' goody-goody girl is only secondary to my identity as pre-med.
It is easier to present to everyone my pre-med side, it's harder to present the Christian side. What consumes me comes out. "From the abundance of our hearts we run our mouths." - John Reuben and Lk 6:45. God needs to consume me. In order for Him to consume me, I must love and serve Him and not the god of medicine.
I'm also going through the book of Luke (as I have been going through all the Gospels ever since.... September?) Anyway, I do spend a decent amount of time praying and thinking about God, but what really truly consumes me? Tonight I brought a very large non-premed (gasp) burden to God and I've felt quite at peace about that because I know that it is in His hands and I think I know how He might use it for His kingdom.
ANYWAY, tonight, hate to say, is a rather rare exception. Everyone at work knows me as the pre-med girl. Everyone in the hospital is starting to know this as well. I went through a phase where I was quite close to flaunting it when God humbled me... Secondly, people at the hospital know me as this innocent sheltered 'do no bad' girl. My church here in Denver talks a lot about living as aliens and strangers in this world of non-Christiandom. But my identity as a 'religious' goody-goody girl is only secondary to my identity as pre-med.
It is easier to present to everyone my pre-med side, it's harder to present the Christian side. What consumes me comes out. "From the abundance of our hearts we run our mouths." - John Reuben and Lk 6:45. God needs to consume me. In order for Him to consume me, I must love and serve Him and not the god of medicine.
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Equilibrium of the Heart
I took a patient who was on the Labor and Delivery floor down to an exam twice. Both times she was nauseated, and when I took her the second time, she could barely stand, and felt even worse. She and her husband looked visibly scared. The second time down, I asked her husband how he was doing, and he told me how scared he was. I told him that I understood having a family member in the hospital with complications. As I took my patient to the exam the second time, my hands were gripping the handles of the chair so tightly, I figured my knuckles were white (that is, if I could see through my gloves). My muscles in my forearms were contracted so tight that they hurt. I was scared for them. I was upset that her labor was being complicated by something the doctor sent her down for yet another exam to try and find out what it was. Both times to and from the exams, I helped her in and out of the wheelchair. Both times I was with her when she got sick on us. Both times, I got out damp paper towels for her face.
My last transport of the day was some medicine she had to take before yet another different exam. I inwardly cringed when my dispatcher told me to do that transport because I knew from my 5 months working at the hospital what the medicine was for, and because of that, I assumed it was for my patient. Tears came to my eyes. How could she drink this medicine when she couldn't hold anything down? How could she go to yet another exam when she thought she was done when I brought her back to her room for the second time? Would the doctor finally figure out what was wrong? Just don't cry, ok? a part of my mind said. God's still in control. You just need to give this patient to Him. I was able to explain to my newest co-worker what the medicine we were getting was since he came along with me. Giving a mini lecture helped me not to cry. Yet even as I write this now, I wonder if my patient was able to take the medicine, if she went down to that final test, and how far along she was in labor. I knew that if things got any worse, she would just have a C-Section and then surgery to find and fix the other problem. But it's not what she or her husband expected, and she was in so much pain.
I told my mom who has her BSN about the case. She told me basically that the equilibrium of a healthcare worker's/ nurse's / doctor's heart is this: You feel for the patient, but you still focus to do your job. You empathize with the patient, but you must still be able to leave him or her and care for others. Yet it is still ok to cry at the end of the day. My third week at the hospital, I saw a doctor sobbing on another's shoulder. She had come out of a patient care conference, so she had done what she needed to do. But she also had to let her heart go toward that patient. She could be a good doctor and yet still cry. And I am learning that too: You can do a good job of whatever God wants you to do in medicine, and He is there for you when you pray for your patient and yes, He is there for you to just cry.
My last transport of the day was some medicine she had to take before yet another different exam. I inwardly cringed when my dispatcher told me to do that transport because I knew from my 5 months working at the hospital what the medicine was for, and because of that, I assumed it was for my patient. Tears came to my eyes. How could she drink this medicine when she couldn't hold anything down? How could she go to yet another exam when she thought she was done when I brought her back to her room for the second time? Would the doctor finally figure out what was wrong? Just don't cry, ok? a part of my mind said. God's still in control. You just need to give this patient to Him. I was able to explain to my newest co-worker what the medicine we were getting was since he came along with me. Giving a mini lecture helped me not to cry. Yet even as I write this now, I wonder if my patient was able to take the medicine, if she went down to that final test, and how far along she was in labor. I knew that if things got any worse, she would just have a C-Section and then surgery to find and fix the other problem. But it's not what she or her husband expected, and she was in so much pain.
I told my mom who has her BSN about the case. She told me basically that the equilibrium of a healthcare worker's/ nurse's / doctor's heart is this: You feel for the patient, but you still focus to do your job. You empathize with the patient, but you must still be able to leave him or her and care for others. Yet it is still ok to cry at the end of the day. My third week at the hospital, I saw a doctor sobbing on another's shoulder. She had come out of a patient care conference, so she had done what she needed to do. But she also had to let her heart go toward that patient. She could be a good doctor and yet still cry. And I am learning that too: You can do a good job of whatever God wants you to do in medicine, and He is there for you when you pray for your patient and yes, He is there for you to just cry.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
New Years Resolution
October 2007 marks my fifth year being Christian. That's a while from now, but what have I learned so far in my Christian life?
1. God really did create the world.
2. God has a plan for my scholastic and other achievements.
3. God works wonders in people's lives (from watching my friends come to, grow in, and come back to Christ)
4. God's like eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!
5. It's amazing what God can say thorugh me if I memorize His word.
6. God forgives mistakes.
7. And He helps me to slowly make less and less mistakes.
8. And that takes obedience on my part.
9. But that's much easier if I love God.
Those are somewhat of the general things. The specific list would take way too long. But my New Year Resolution is simple: Love God more.
That's it. Loving God keeps me from temtation, in His Word, focused on His kingdom, etc. etc. etc.
This year off from school I asked God to train me for what He has prepared for me. Taking this job as a transportation technician at a hospital makes me curious as to wether He is preparing me to be a physician. Therefore, I have asked for His help as the Great Physician training His possible apprentice. However, I have failed to ask Him to help me love Him better. I can ask Him for the pragmatic things: career path, character growth, more understanding of doctrine and His word, but my heart shows me that I need to ask Him for Himself.
I taste and see that You are good
I hide myself within Your love
In Your presence, I lack nothing
You're all I want and You are here with me
- Taste and See worship song adapted from Psalm 34
1. God really did create the world.
2. God has a plan for my scholastic and other achievements.
3. God works wonders in people's lives (from watching my friends come to, grow in, and come back to Christ)
4. God's like eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!
5. It's amazing what God can say thorugh me if I memorize His word.
6. God forgives mistakes.
7. And He helps me to slowly make less and less mistakes.
8. And that takes obedience on my part.
9. But that's much easier if I love God.
Those are somewhat of the general things. The specific list would take way too long. But my New Year Resolution is simple: Love God more.
That's it. Loving God keeps me from temtation, in His Word, focused on His kingdom, etc. etc. etc.
This year off from school I asked God to train me for what He has prepared for me. Taking this job as a transportation technician at a hospital makes me curious as to wether He is preparing me to be a physician. Therefore, I have asked for His help as the Great Physician training His possible apprentice. However, I have failed to ask Him to help me love Him better. I can ask Him for the pragmatic things: career path, character growth, more understanding of doctrine and His word, but my heart shows me that I need to ask Him for Himself.
I taste and see that You are good
I hide myself within Your love
In Your presence, I lack nothing
You're all I want and You are here with me
- Taste and See worship song adapted from Psalm 34
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