Worshipping my Provider then and now

I'm listening to Shane and Shane's CD "Psalms".  Psalm 13 was one song I would often listen to when I was doing my job search in Fort Collins. Those were hard times. I applied to a crap ton of jobs just to find the group home jobs. Those weren't bad and the clients were great when they listened to staff :D 

But were my group home jobs my dream jobs coming out of grad school? No.   Did God provide still? Yes :)

Now here I am a legal assistant at a Probate and Estates law firm. This is a step down from paralegal, but I am still song substantive legal work. One could say that I am really close to my chosen career. Yes I am. Very close. 

Currently I am on my commute home pondering my Fort Collins job search compared to my paralegal job search. In some ways they were the same; I had some volunteer experience in the field but was looking for something more involved in a paid position. I was also aware of my Aspergers and had help around that and interviews and such. I had to make sure the jobs were on bus lines convenient for me. Most importantly I had a church body supporting me and praying for me in both places :):)

In Fort Collins, I felt alone. I had Mom's worries pressing on me as well as my own and I felt like no one understood that aspect of my situation. In Denver, I had more confidence that countered Mom's worrying. In Fort Collins, I was surrounded by people with good jobs they got by working hard or dumb luck while I struggled to find above minim wage work. In Denver I was still surrounded by people with jobs and people aspiring to get jobs in the legal profession. This was something many volunteers at Colorado Legal Services had in common. In Fort Collins, the job search seemed never ending, and in a way it was. I searched for a job from August 2009 until February 2012. Wow. In Denver I searched from March 2013 until now. I will hope to get promoted within the law firm or find a paralegal job after a few years in my current position. 

What didn't change is my faith in God. In Fort Collins it was faith through frustration and tears as God grew that faith deeper. In Denver it was faith and calling on the lessons I learned in Fort Collins. It was faith growing deeper still. 

As I listen to Psalms and let God reminde of those times I cry remembering the hard times and  I cry in gratefulness that I was never truly alone. I smile because God provided for my material needs then and now, and He provided the sustaining grace to persevere. 

A flood in my old home

I am still in somewhat of a surreal shock. 

My own state is partially underwater. Though I had a pretty sunny day in Southwest Denver, I know that east of Boaz's side of Parker, there is still flooding. 

And there is flooding in Fort Collins. My old home. 

It hits home when Mom and I hear the news and I start talking about, "Oh yeah, that path is north of Old Town..." and my memories of Fort Collins come back. 

Of walking around Old Town
Of walking down the Spring Creek Trail
Hiking up Horsetooth
Hanging out at Rolland Moore Park
Being a CSU Ram 

I think a lot about the guys' group home where I worked. It is by Overland and Vine. I think they should be ok, but I know two guys had rooms in the basement, so everyone might be on the first and second floor for a bit. 

For some of my friends in the law firm it's still happening "over there." The streets they take to work aren't washed out. Their houses aren't flooded (though one friend had some water in her basement, but she got a dry-vac). I can think it's "over there" because mom's house isn't flooded, and my bus routes work. 

But my heart tells me that it is where my former church family is. My friends' postings on Facebook remind me that my friends are affected or very close to affected areas. 

I am reminded that the flood is in my old home. 

And my old home is in my prayers. 

First Week Done!

Hello Blogsphere!!!

Yes, the Facebook post is true!!! I am currently working at a law firm as an office / legal assistant! Today marked the end of my first week at my new job. The law firm handles Probate and Estate planning and administration. Because this is a public blog, I will not reveal the name of my law firm to ensure I comply with its confidentiality policy.

Google Images

The people at the firm are very nice! The first day I got to know the receptionist and the law clerk that work there. The law clerk took the bar exam and is waiting for her results. Once she passes (we all assume she will), she will be the fourth lawyer in the firm. The office manager and I were classmates in the Probate and Estates class in the summer. The two paralwgals are also nice, as is the bookkeeper. They have made me feel welcome and are willing to train me on my duties. The bookkeeper sits next to me and noticed I had to lean in close  to the screen. She said she would look into getting a longer cord for my monitor so I could pull it closer. I told her she was so sweet to think of that!!!!

Thinking back to my time at Colorado Legal Services, I see how many of those skills helped me. I had practice talking to clients and using the client tracking system. I also knew how to use templates and how to draft documents. More importantly, I learned how an office environment worked in a practical sense and in a social sene. As an Aspie, I spent that year at CLS learning social skills and being comfortable in that social environment. I learned when we ha to speak and act professionally, and when my co-workers and I could share a small giggle. 

Sometimes I felt overwhelmed with all the tasks because I was learning a new law office and learning new tasks. I think the transition to being a newbie was harder because at my internship, I helped my attorney train some of the new interns. Now I was the one receiving all the training. Fortunately, like I said earlier, everyone was nice :)

I am grateful to God for my new job, and I thank Him every day that I have it :) Here's to growing my paraelgal career with this law firm!!!!!

The man of my 90's love song dreams

On Spotify, I'm making a playlist of the music I listened to in high school and college just for a nice walk down memory lane. 

Google Images - yes that round thing is called a discman. Where things called CDs were inserted for awesome tunes.



Reminiscing about the sappy love songs I listened to from Mariah Carey, N'Sync, and Backstreet Boys, I suddenly realized that when I listened to those songs, those were like prayers to God for Him to find me a man who would make me feel all sappy inside. 

Even in high school, I didn't just want 'arm candy.' I wanted a boyfriend who would care for me and be genuinely interested in me for me. I thought I wasn't worthy of a boyfriend because I didn't look like the girls on the cover of Seventeen magazine. I wasn't rich and I couldn't buy the latest brand-name clothes or drive a stylish car. At sixteen, I was learning how to ride the bus while my other friends were getting cars. I thought I was too different, too nerdy, to shy, to nearsighted to get a boyfriend. 

Somehow through my teen years, God kept me trusting in Him. Did I crush on guys I thought were cute? Yes. My friends and I spent lots of time giggling about famous guys (like N'Sync) and cute guys in our classes. But somehow I had this idea that God would bring the guy to me when I was ready. 

Enter: BOAZ!!!!!!!!! :) 

That's him! SQUEAK!



Sweet, kind, dorky Boaz!!!!! :) 

Loves me for me, cares genuinely for me, and I make him smile - quirks and all! And I want to love him back for those same reasons :) 

Wow! It's so funny how all those years back when I was laying in bed listening to my discman and wondering if God had a boyfriend for me, God was preparing my Boaz for when we would meet.... 15ish years later! He heard the prayers of my heart as I listened to my 90's love songs so one day my 60's guy (because he was born in 1969) to meet and exceed all of them :) 

So then I was going along and....What NEW BLOG?

Sometimes my brain goes along and I'm thinking and ... SQUIRREL! 

Well, my writing part of my brain is no different. Actually, I've been thinking about this for a while. 

I have a new blog: http://whenboazshowedup.blogspot.com :) called When Boaz Showed Up. It's about my adventures in dating. But more than just a blog exclusively devoted to gushing about Boaz, I really wanted to share how God has worked in our relationship, and my reflections on dating and singleness and contemplating marriage. 

Warning: this blog will not be the flowery pretty cover books you see in the women's section of the Christian book store. Because I just want to tell it straight up because that's how God taught me. 

However, I do hope it is an encouragement to all who read it and in reading the blog, they will learn more about God :) 

Da Blawg Update

WHAZZUPPPP BLOGSPHERE!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! 

Uhh... Hi! I haven't written in a while. Internship and job searching and Probate and Estates class had been taking up my life UNTIL NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I am done with Probate and Estates :) The course was taught by a well known probate lawyer who knew his stuff and was excited to teach :) 

No, I did not land a job at his firm, but I am still looking for jobs. Had two interviews so far! WOOT! God promised me this job search would not be like the last one (The Epic Job Search Of 2009 to 2010 in the midst of the Great Recession). First of all, Mom isn't as much on my case day to day (WOO HOO!) and second of all, I have some friends who are also job searching so we feel each others' pain :) More importantly, my trust is in God and that trust and faith in Him have grown so much more solid than they were in 2009. God used The Great Recession to make me put my faith in Him, to thank Him for the talents and skill set He had given me, and to tear away my identity in a job and/or accomplishments to focus my identity on Him. 

That means that I could talk about my job search without constantly crying and melting-down in front of my friends.... AND MY BOAZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :) Heee heeee heee! 

Giggles :) 

I've gotten to hang with Boaz and his son a few times over the summer. Little guy is cute and we both love Boaz so yeah :) Last night my man was fixing up a scrumptious dinner of chicken breast, Rice a Roni, and beans while singing and dancing in his kitchen. His son and I sat at the table giggling at him. It was great! Then of course, the meal was tasty :) 

Oh yes, and my internship. I am still there :) My supervising attorney has put me in a bit of a position of second in command when it comes to training the newer interns. It feels sorta strange, but nice because I'm learning how to be a good co-worker and leader :) 

I am also working part time at Ross too. WOO HOO MORE MONEY! And a 20% employee discount. I'm using that discount wisely and getting stuff I really do need and not just random clothes and odds and ends. It's a nice little job until I get my first paralegal gig. 

Welp, that's little me in a nutshell. Even though yes, I want a paralegal job, I am honestly thankful and happy for where God has me right now :) :) 

Obligatory Paralegal Nerd Supreme Court Post!!!

Supreme Court Building, Washington DC Google Images

Hello, Blogsphere! I had to do a post on the Supreme Court decision of United States v. Windsor. This is the DOMA case. I've been reading this case because the  dispute arose due to the estate tax that we're learning about in Probate and Estate Planning class. 

Before I get into what I want to say, I'll quickly lay out my philosophical foundation for thinking about the Supreme Court decision: 

1. I believe there is a God and He manifested Himself as Jesus Christ. He proved that He was the Savior for the world by dying on the cross and rising again. The consequences of his Resurrection: the growth of the Christian church amid heavy persecution, the radical cultural shift in the Roman empire once the culture accepted Christianity, and billions of individuals' personal testimonies validate its reality. 

2. I believe God has provided evidence about Himself and guidelines for how the world works through the Bible comprising the Old and New Testament. 

3. I believe God offers salvation to everyone. No sin is too great for Him to forgive. He forgave murderers and those considered treasonous to their own culture (Jewish tax-collectors). He forgave several people in sexual sin (The woman at the well and the woman who wiped his feet with her hair). People are saved upon accepting Christ as Savior and trusting in Him to forgive sins, save them from ultimate judgement, and transform their lives here on earth. 

4. With this foundation, I believe God has spoken clearly in the Old and New Testament about human sexuality prohibiting deviations from hetero-sexual relations within the context of marriage. Even so, God does not exclude these deviations from the saving grace of Christ. Meaning, God is willing and able to forgive people that have transgressed in this area. 

Alrighty! Disclaimers are out of the way :D They were not meant to be the crux of this post, but I needed to lay them out before I went on with this post. 

So how did I react to the Supreme Court decision? My thoughts verbatim were: "Let the Continuing Legal Education begin!" I thought about my time at Metro Volunteer Lawyers and at Colorado Legal Services and wondered how would this ruling affect my clients. So far, I have come up with: those who were same-sex married in other states would now be considered married under any federal laws that would apply to them. For example, social-security benefits, the estate-tax, and other federal laws would apply now. 

How do I feel about that? Honestly, even though I do not think that sort of relationship is Biblical or God's design, I am grateful that I live in a country where the highest court sees giving rights to a group society considers marginalized as a priority. This is looking at it purely from a paralegal student's standpoint as one who is entering a position where I examine the law and apply the law as a major part of my future job. 

Thinking about this as a future paralegal, I didn't think about this ruling as being brought about by fringe activists, nor did I think about it firstly as eroding the fabric of society so to speak. I thought in terms of: How would this affect a real client I might see? How would this affect a client who walked through the doors of Colorado Legal Services and had a legal matter involving a same-sex partner and the federal laws? 

As a fledgling paralegal, I feel like I have an obligation to help my supervising attorney explain the law to people if he wants to hold a training or something even if I don't agree with the law. Because I am in a position where I can help an attorney educate the public about the law, the Supreme Court's stance on DOMA isn't a scary "hands-away! That thing is evil and unclean!!" to me. I realize that it's just case-law like any other appellate court decision, and I should reference it if it's going to help my attorney's clients. It's my duty as a paralegal. Knowing that makes this whole thing less "scary." 

Does that mean I have changed my fundamental positions listed above? No. After getting to know several people in these type of relationships, I don't think of the ruling as "Them (the increasingly secular American society) versus Us (Christians who believe the Bible as the Word of God as applicable to every day life including sexuality)." I think of it as a ruling coming down after interpretation of the law and applying it to the current society. 

Does it say something about the current society? Yes. I believe it confirms that our society is embracing secular postmodernism. What does this mean for my life? Well, this means that I need to understand exactly what I believe because the culture conforms less and less to a Christian worldview. Therefore, I need to be able to explain myself clearer when asked about my beliefs. More importantly, this also indicates that as a Christian, I must be more purposeful. I can't blend into society because society's rules are straying from the rules and norms of the Bible. To truly demonstrate what Christianity is so others can know Christ, I need to somehow live in such a way where I am different. I don't want to live in an "I'm right, they're wrong" mentality. That would push people away from the Gospel. But I am convicted that I need to live and treat people in a way that makes people ask, "Why does she do or believe that?" and I have ask God for the courage to explain about Christ when they ask. 

Looking into the future, I know this will affect how Boaz and I raise our kids (assuming Boaz and I get married :D and have kids :D :D :D :D :D ) because the children may not absorb many facets of the Christian worldview from the culture. In fact, they may be taught an entirely different worldview outside of the home and the church. Does that mean Boaz and I should prepare to raise children in Christian isolation? No. Because they will need to know how the world works and understand others' worldview so they will be able to present the Gospel coherently to their peers. That is the main point of teaching children a Christian worldview: To lead them to Christ so they come to a saving knowledge of Him and then share the good news with those around them so that others may be saved. 

So, this is a very long analysis of the Supreme Court decision from all different angles. These things will be things I ponder for quite a while, and I will be praying about how God wants me to respond to this decision and change in the culture. Because I want the way I respond to point to Him.