Spiritual Family of Origin

Cuuuuute little cup!!!!!

I found this cuuuuuuuuuute little cup today when I was going through even more of my apartment stuff. No idea why it wasn't in my kitchen stuff, but oh well... It was the only little cup in the set left because the other little cups were in an unfortunate collision with the sidewalk.... Twas a sad day for little me and little them :(

Anyway, I squeaked when I saw that cup because I thought of a good Fort Collins friend who volunteered at AWANA with me :) She gave me the little cups and she was like a big sister because she was married and we had many conversations about me waiting for The One God had for me :) She was one of my many "Proverbs 31 Mentors." Meaning, she was part of a group of ladies I looked up to and who I wanted to emulate if God ever called a guy to pursue me and to put a RING ON IT!!!! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAK! 

Thinking about her also got me thinking about Women's Coffeehouse at Summitview. When we did the series Biblical Femininity, I sorta thought of it as Proverbs 31 or Wife Training School. The premise of that series was to obey Titus 2 which instructs older women to teach younger women. Married and single women came to the teachings, and women who had been married a long time spoke. 

As I begin preparing for the wedding ceremony and preparing for life being married to my Boaz - SQUEAK!!!! I find myself thinking about my spiritual family of origin. My peeps at Summitview Community Church in Fort Collins. 

There's an HDFS concept that we have two families: Family of Origin which consists of your parents, siblings, and people who raised you, and Family of Procreation which consists of your spouse/partner and children raised within that relationship. The family of origin of both adults influences their marriage/relationship and how they raise their children. 

I was spiritually raised in Summitview and I will probably begin my married life at Southeast Christian Church in Parker :) The way I connect to my new church home and the way I connect with my sweet Boaz will be influenced partly by how I was raised at Summitview. 

This isn't necessarily an all good or all bad thing. Like all local churches, Summitview had its own unique strengths and weaknesses. An obvious strength of Summitview is the Gospel as the core of one's being and one's identity, and the laser-beam focus on reaching the world for Jesus. The literal interpretation of Genesis combined with an epic biology nerd as a pastor made for some really nerdy and awesome seminars and teachings :) Recently, some friends of mine pointed out a weakness: The Rock (college group) had a very strict stance of: Guys, don't pursue a lady if you're not 100% sure you're going to marry her, and ladies, don't let your heart fall for a guy because what if he's not The One? Gender-relations wise, this made life... interesting. For an Aspie college student, it helped me establish rules on how to act around those students that were sometimes grungy, a little strange, and had a Y chromosome. 

Couples who also began their Christian life at Summitview and continued attending the church after marriage often had very set gender roles: Dude goes to work, Bride pops kids, raises them, and homeschools them. Again, I saw really awesome examples of these families, and what I saw beyond their completely countercultural way of doing gender roles was how they sought to permeate their family life with Christ and their desire to teach their children about their Savior. That warmed my heart, and I treasured my time there as a Sunday school helper and teacher seeing kids grow developmentally and grow in learning about the God that made them and saved them.... .aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw! :) Oh, and the cuteness overload working with preschoolers was awesome too! 

So... all that will play a role in what I expect out of marriage and how I relate to Boaz as my fiance. Knowing that not every church does stuff like Summitview makes me willing to allow Boaz to lead us in the way he sees God leading us :)

The emphasis on the male as the spiritual leader of the household has helped me encourage my Boaz in praying for us and he has told me how that has empowered him and challenged him in his walk with God :) My response was : "Good, that was my evil plan :D" But seriously, that's cool! Yet I know that I can't fall into leaning solely on my Boaz's leadership for my spiritual development. I need to have my own relationship with God. 

Also, I also have to remember that my life might not look like those ladies that spoke at 'Wife School.' My Boaz is still in school, so I might not be able to stop working. Plus, I like my job and it's going well, so I would like to stay with my law firm for a while. Knowing that my Boaz comes from a church that has more of an emphasis on, "Read your Bible and then ask God what He wants you to do" rather than, "Read your Bible, listen to this teaching, and ask your pastor or spiritual mentor what to do." I have to remind myself that it's ok not to have a life that looks like other people who are further along in the faith as long as Christ is at the center. 

My spiritual family of origin has really helped me shape how I interact with little guy. I pray for his salvation, and I have told Boaz that I want to know how I can support him to lead his son to Christ. I will probably volunteer in Sunday School again - maybe in the same room as my Boaz, and I look forward to the day where both of us can be in the same classroom as little guy or our future children :) aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw! 

Thinking about my spiritual family of origin has made me appreciate the gems of wisdom God brought me while part of that church. I look forward to growing in the faith with a Gospel-centered identity, a desire to reach the world for Christ, and a desire to support my Boaz as we grow together in our faith and in our relationship :) I also know that my spiritual family of origin won't completely define my path in this new phase of life. God, who is above all our childhood families of origin, is above our spiritual families of origin as well. He will guide both my sweet Boaz and I, and He will be our ultimate guide :)