Well, I've never tried to write in this font before, but here goes...
Today I went to the Chemistry building to give my former professor the John Morris lecture series. He wasn't interested but we had a really good talk. He had a comic posted on his door about a guy who visits his doctor and discovers he has a mutated viral infection. Basically, the guys' a creationist, so the doctor doesn't give him medicine because the doctor figures that the guy doesn't believe in the evolution of viruses. So right away, I explained that what the cartoon represented was microevolution and not macroevolution. We got into a modestly long discussion about Intellegent Design and Creationism. He thinks it's just a big cop - out and that ID and Creation researchers said that since things were too complex, they didn't need to be understood because they were designed. I told my prof that ID and Creationists still try to solve problems and not use the excuse, "It's designed" to solve any problem except where it is the most logical reason to do so. Well, I tried saying that anyway, but Prof kinda went on and on... I could tell I was pushing a button, so I didn't want to get him too flared up. But it got me thinking, and probably him thinking too.
The kicker is this: I tried going to his office yesterday. I didn't want to walk, so I just decided to call him. The phone rang once... twice... my stomach started to clench up... three times Will he answer? Oh no... ohno... what if I don't know what to say???..Four times... "Hi you have reached the office of...." Click. I hung up. So much fear from the past attempts to reach him had come up all at once. So I tried again today. I had prayed earlier in the day. I started out from Newsom praying. I asked for God's help, for God to just do it through me. Outside I was fine, but inside, I threatned to be a mess: legs shaking, unable to speak for fear of being sick... But God intervened. I walked in God's power and only in God's power. God is Creator and He will... I repeat, He will speak into my professor's office yes, even though me, probably one of his most timid students. Because when I am weak, God is strong.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Friday, January 27, 2006
The weak to shame the strong
e - mail to the D - Team
It is interesting that those in our D - Team that are broken by chronic physical and / or mental illness, struggls with sin, acute Senioritis, etc. etc. etc. feel God's power the most. Contrast that to some of our professors who's minds are intact (even if they are saturated by 40 years of using diethyl ether or other solvents... sorry... bad O - Chem joke...) yet are shut out from the power of God because of pride coupled with their setting up of many intellectual barriers to seeking God. Will we ever talk to our professors about our struggles? Maybe. Maybe not. But they will be shamed. Their intellect and distinguished professor awards, and nobel prizes etc. will come to nothing if they do not know Christ. But our weaknesses, our struggles, will come to great joy because Christ's power was shown through them.
"But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong." 1 Cor 1:27
It is interesting that those in our D - Team that are broken by chronic physical and / or mental illness, struggls with sin, acute Senioritis, etc. etc. etc. feel God's power the most. Contrast that to some of our professors who's minds are intact (even if they are saturated by 40 years of using diethyl ether or other solvents... sorry... bad O - Chem joke...) yet are shut out from the power of God because of pride coupled with their setting up of many intellectual barriers to seeking God. Will we ever talk to our professors about our struggles? Maybe. Maybe not. But they will be shamed. Their intellect and distinguished professor awards, and nobel prizes etc. will come to nothing if they do not know Christ. But our weaknesses, our struggles, will come to great joy because Christ's power was shown through them.
"But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong." 1 Cor 1:27
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Speaking out
So, yesterday I spoke out in class about the awesomeness of God in healing one's famiy of origin issues. Eddie spoke out in the People's Republic of Boulder about the one true God. Liz is supposed to speak out in her Western Religious Thought class.
We are not ashamed.
Because we have tasted and seen His glory.
We are not ashamed.
Because we have tasted and seen His glory.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Morris to the Mountains
God, Thank You SO much for John Morris and the extra time that Loren and I got to spend with him driving around Rocky Mtn. National Park! To spend time with someone who has touched Your refining fire is so neat to see! I hope to walk in that same strong faith that You alone can author. I only hope that the lessons and stuff from this day do not fade out from my memory.
Anyway, So after church today, Loren offered to haul John Morris around in Rocky Mountain National Park (RMNP) for a while before he left. Loren was originally going with Janet as well, and he asked me if I would like to come. So I was like, "Ok!" It was actually a hard decision because I really wanted to watch the Broncos attepmt the AFC Championships. But hanging out in the mountains with a hard core Creationist and a new friend won out :)
Janet ended up not being able to come :( So Loren, John, and I hopped into Loren's car and we drove up to RMNP. John really liked going through Big Thompson Canyon and looking at all the rocks. He was trying to figure out what kind they were: igneous or metamoprhic. He finally decided that a lot were metamorphic. Loren and John talked rocks for a while. It was cool when we started talking about other stuff like the biblical basis for homeschooling (fathers teaching sons and daughters stuff about God, their trade which is somewhat applicable). I brought up the possible teaching of pantheism that I saw in a TV show over break and John said that it was good that I was sensitive to picking that up. John really liked going through the park and looking around.
The coolest thing was hearing John's stories about Mt. Ararat. We heard the lightning story (where he and friends were struck by lightning and lived) and a bit about the wolves, but he told us more about the wolves. He said that they would circle him and his friends and they had to throw rocks at them to get them to leave their trail. Once John said that a shepherd came and chased the wolves away. Then he told this way cool story about how two paramedics came on the climb and they were able to treat all these people from surrounding villiages with just the first aid stuff. There was one girl who had gum problems that they had to turn away that John still remembers. Just thinking about how their mission wasn't quite accomplished because they didn't find evidence of the Ark (yet), but they still were able to serve all those people was cool.
Then we talked about the diversity of the human races because the people that lived on the top of Mt. Ararat were darker than those that lived at its base. That was interesting. We talked about how evolution reinforced existing racism, but creationism erased it.
Loren and I got to share our testimonies and ask him for some advice about a few things. It was really neat. Loren and I felt like for a while, we had a Christian parent or as we put it, "A Christian adult to talk to." We got to share our stories and got to hear a Christian adult's perspective on our lives. We also got to see how God used him and all his colleauges. It was just so neat to see a side of him he couldn't show at the lecture, but it was the side of him that was most touched in his walk with God. We saw the John Morris that God sees when God looks at him one day and says, "Well done, good and faithful servant." And in a way, we got to let him see that side of us as well.
Anyway, So after church today, Loren offered to haul John Morris around in Rocky Mountain National Park (RMNP) for a while before he left. Loren was originally going with Janet as well, and he asked me if I would like to come. So I was like, "Ok!" It was actually a hard decision because I really wanted to watch the Broncos attepmt the AFC Championships. But hanging out in the mountains with a hard core Creationist and a new friend won out :)
Janet ended up not being able to come :( So Loren, John, and I hopped into Loren's car and we drove up to RMNP. John really liked going through Big Thompson Canyon and looking at all the rocks. He was trying to figure out what kind they were: igneous or metamoprhic. He finally decided that a lot were metamorphic. Loren and John talked rocks for a while. It was cool when we started talking about other stuff like the biblical basis for homeschooling (fathers teaching sons and daughters stuff about God, their trade which is somewhat applicable). I brought up the possible teaching of pantheism that I saw in a TV show over break and John said that it was good that I was sensitive to picking that up. John really liked going through the park and looking around.
The coolest thing was hearing John's stories about Mt. Ararat. We heard the lightning story (where he and friends were struck by lightning and lived) and a bit about the wolves, but he told us more about the wolves. He said that they would circle him and his friends and they had to throw rocks at them to get them to leave their trail. Once John said that a shepherd came and chased the wolves away. Then he told this way cool story about how two paramedics came on the climb and they were able to treat all these people from surrounding villiages with just the first aid stuff. There was one girl who had gum problems that they had to turn away that John still remembers. Just thinking about how their mission wasn't quite accomplished because they didn't find evidence of the Ark (yet), but they still were able to serve all those people was cool.
Then we talked about the diversity of the human races because the people that lived on the top of Mt. Ararat were darker than those that lived at its base. That was interesting. We talked about how evolution reinforced existing racism, but creationism erased it.
Loren and I got to share our testimonies and ask him for some advice about a few things. It was really neat. Loren and I felt like for a while, we had a Christian parent or as we put it, "A Christian adult to talk to." We got to share our stories and got to hear a Christian adult's perspective on our lives. We also got to see how God used him and all his colleauges. It was just so neat to see a side of him he couldn't show at the lecture, but it was the side of him that was most touched in his walk with God. We saw the John Morris that God sees when God looks at him one day and says, "Well done, good and faithful servant." And in a way, we got to let him see that side of us as well.
Friday, January 20, 2006
John, Jon, and the Glory of God
Alrighty then, so Jon Morris was supposed to supposed to have presented last night on campus. Didn't quite make it so, John Meyer took up the slack. Here is what I wrote in my notebook:
Order. My God is a God of order.
God ordered the delay of John Morris' plane. God allowed for the storm to come to delay him and God ordered John Meyer – gave him words to speak now.
I must place my trust in that. If God can order Creation – if I walk in that, I must walk in the fact that God allowed this lecture to happen. Therefore, I must not despair. Therefore, I must not loose heart because "something is amiss." No, not amiss. My God, my Creator is not random. My God planned this and my God will use this lecture to His glory and has ordered it exactly. Hallelujah to the God whoose ways are higher than my way, whoose thoughts are higher than my thoughts, and whoose plans will always bear much fruit and glory.
I wrote this in leu of John Meyer's announcement that John Morris was late. I was crushed. I had invited my professor yet again. And others had come too. And C – Team had prepared for all this. So I almost started crying. Just bawling. But God got me. God reminded me who He is, why I trusted in Him as Creator, why I praised Him as Creator, and asked me, can I continually walk in that faith that the God of Creation was the God whoose hand is not to short and whoose hand allows and forms every event in this world?
Order. My God is a God of order.
God ordered the delay of John Morris' plane. God allowed for the storm to come to delay him and God ordered John Meyer – gave him words to speak now.
I must place my trust in that. If God can order Creation – if I walk in that, I must walk in the fact that God allowed this lecture to happen. Therefore, I must not despair. Therefore, I must not loose heart because "something is amiss." No, not amiss. My God, my Creator is not random. My God planned this and my God will use this lecture to His glory and has ordered it exactly. Hallelujah to the God whoose ways are higher than my way, whoose thoughts are higher than my thoughts, and whoose plans will always bear much fruit and glory.
I wrote this in leu of John Meyer's announcement that John Morris was late. I was crushed. I had invited my professor yet again. And others had come too. And C – Team had prepared for all this. So I almost started crying. Just bawling. But God got me. God reminded me who He is, why I trusted in Him as Creator, why I praised Him as Creator, and asked me, can I continually walk in that faith that the God of Creation was the God whoose hand is not to short and whoose hand allows and forms every event in this world?
Thursday, January 19, 2006
View from the library
So, first off, I want to praise God for the blessing of WIRELESS INTERNET!! :) :) It is most useful and convienent minus having to haul my notebook computer around everywhere, but hey, it still works. I have this wierd idea to go and post from the Chem building which would require me to find an outlet in the main lobby since my battery apprently doesn't like runnning on its own anymore...
Anyway, it's snowing and it's all wet outside my window on the 3rd floor (like I said, this post is entitled: view from the Library). Everything looks dead and dormant. But I know not for long because it will be spring! Time for leaves on the trees, even MORE campus squirrels running around, and that lovely March blizzard that always scares the crap out of the people that don't want the trees around the Oval destroyed. Basically, it's all desloate and stuff, but Spring is just around the corner.
Isn't it how everything moves - in that cyclical pattern - well, we generally move in a linear pattern of growing in our Faith and recieving the strengthening of that hope and joy that comes from God. But there is backsliding or sadness or dry spells in our faith. It is indeed cyclical in the fact that we move back, but God pulls us forward. Once we feel the hand of God moving us, and the Spirit coming alive, it is like the waning of winter - outside it's still a bit cold and dreary and snowy and devoid of leaves and flowers and such, but there is that hope of spring... renewed by the water of the cistern that won't run dry.
Anyway, it's snowing and it's all wet outside my window on the 3rd floor (like I said, this post is entitled: view from the Library). Everything looks dead and dormant. But I know not for long because it will be spring! Time for leaves on the trees, even MORE campus squirrels running around, and that lovely March blizzard that always scares the crap out of the people that don't want the trees around the Oval destroyed. Basically, it's all desloate and stuff, but Spring is just around the corner.
Isn't it how everything moves - in that cyclical pattern - well, we generally move in a linear pattern of growing in our Faith and recieving the strengthening of that hope and joy that comes from God. But there is backsliding or sadness or dry spells in our faith. It is indeed cyclical in the fact that we move back, but God pulls us forward. Once we feel the hand of God moving us, and the Spirit coming alive, it is like the waning of winter - outside it's still a bit cold and dreary and snowy and devoid of leaves and flowers and such, but there is that hope of spring... renewed by the water of the cistern that won't run dry.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
The Darkness of Grief, the Glory of God
So, last night I found out my great aunt died. I helped my other aunt who is developmentally disabled by just listening to her and somewhat playing 'quasi - grief counselor' and chaplan because I started to explain how God could help her. I ended up writing her a note about how God listenes to her, God will help her through her sadness and God would take care of her.
Anyway, I went home and read Psalm 138. I wrote that down in longhand in my journal. David praised God no matter what. Even when he was lowly, he remembered God remembered him. Even when he was downcast, God was there. I wrote this in my journal:
Creator of Life
Author of our faith
Abba Father
Holding the world
in Your hand
The same hand bled
For payment demanded
By your justice
The same hand wipes
Away our tears
our shame
In Your presence we
Lack no good thing
In Your presence
Crying I will sing
In Your presence
I know You are good.
I did a lot of crying. Just remembering everything from the summer and having added this fresh wound. Yet, I knew God was with me. God was there, and yet, through my tears, I was still praising Him. Anyway, I started to understand what the words 'abandoned to Your praise' meant. It meant that nothing else mattered or, that circumstances wouldn't hinder my priase to God. I can still praise God in sadness. Sadness is not absence of praise, only a reflection of a broken heart.
Then, I started crying again. Not because of the grief. But because God has chosen to use me. Grieving, struggling with the same sins me. He allows things to happen to refine me. He refines me as I come to Him for healing, and the refinement brings about the reflection of my faith to the world which brings glory back to God.
Anyway, I went home and read Psalm 138. I wrote that down in longhand in my journal. David praised God no matter what. Even when he was lowly, he remembered God remembered him. Even when he was downcast, God was there. I wrote this in my journal:
Creator of Life
Author of our faith
Abba Father
Holding the world
in Your hand
The same hand bled
For payment demanded
By your justice
The same hand wipes
Away our tears
our shame
In Your presence we
Lack no good thing
In Your presence
Crying I will sing
In Your presence
I know You are good.
I did a lot of crying. Just remembering everything from the summer and having added this fresh wound. Yet, I knew God was with me. God was there, and yet, through my tears, I was still praising Him. Anyway, I started to understand what the words 'abandoned to Your praise' meant. It meant that nothing else mattered or, that circumstances wouldn't hinder my priase to God. I can still praise God in sadness. Sadness is not absence of praise, only a reflection of a broken heart.
Then, I started crying again. Not because of the grief. But because God has chosen to use me. Grieving, struggling with the same sins me. He allows things to happen to refine me. He refines me as I come to Him for healing, and the refinement brings about the reflection of my faith to the world which brings glory back to God.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Winter Break
So, winter break is a break from all things school! Homework, exams, pop - quizzes, papers, you name it! It's also a break from seeing your friends every day, going to their rooms when bored, freedom you have in college, high - speed internet (in my case), and from life in my little Christian bubble I call D - Team and other Christian friends.
The break from Ft. Collins is challenging me to live for God as if I was still in Ft. Collins. Meaning, consistent quiet times, spiritual conversations, and thoughts that dwell on and honor God must go on. Most times, when I am in Denver, I don't connect with God because I don't have as many opportunities to stay in touch with other Believers and get saturated with Christianity as I do in my Christian bubble.
However, that has changed this break. I have been more consistent with my quiet times, praying, and spiritual conversations. IM - ing Believers and calling them helps too :) I realized that I didn't need my Christian bubble to keep me on the right track. Staying in God's word and delighting in Him whether I'm surrounded by Believers or not is what keeps me in check. I keep consistency, not to keep a clean slate with God, but because it is my constant act of worship - the 'sacrifice of Praise' Paul talks about in Hebrews 13, it is how I connect to the Spring of Living Water because I feel it when it starts to run low, and I have seen it seem to dry up in some Believers and I don't want that to happen to me.
"Through Jesus, let us therefore, continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise -the fruit of lips that confess His name." Heb 13:15
The break from Ft. Collins is challenging me to live for God as if I was still in Ft. Collins. Meaning, consistent quiet times, spiritual conversations, and thoughts that dwell on and honor God must go on. Most times, when I am in Denver, I don't connect with God because I don't have as many opportunities to stay in touch with other Believers and get saturated with Christianity as I do in my Christian bubble.
However, that has changed this break. I have been more consistent with my quiet times, praying, and spiritual conversations. IM - ing Believers and calling them helps too :) I realized that I didn't need my Christian bubble to keep me on the right track. Staying in God's word and delighting in Him whether I'm surrounded by Believers or not is what keeps me in check. I keep consistency, not to keep a clean slate with God, but because it is my constant act of worship - the 'sacrifice of Praise' Paul talks about in Hebrews 13, it is how I connect to the Spring of Living Water because I feel it when it starts to run low, and I have seen it seem to dry up in some Believers and I don't want that to happen to me.
"Through Jesus, let us therefore, continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise -the fruit of lips that confess His name." Heb 13:15
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