A little brother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At work I have a little brother!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll explain: There's this kid who's an aspiring computer science major who works at Corbett with me. We talk during lunch before our shifts, but today we worked at adjoining stations. I served sandwiches and he served gluten-free food :)

At some point we were talking about something or other and I mentioned that I was diagnosed on the autism spectrum as well. He had talked openly about being on the spectrum. It was like we suddenly became brother and sister - sorta - I don't know exactly what that feels like, but it's like we could relate on a whole new level. It's like someone saying, "You know, I grew up in France, and now I live here in England." and suddenly you're like, "OH MY GOSH, I GREW UP IN FRANCE TOO!!!" "Did you have to adjust to THIS... and THIS????" "UHHUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

So in between serving customers we totally nerded out about stuff like things Dr. Grandin says and stuff about our own lives. I still think of him first as a computer science major, and secondly as my brother on the spectrum. Just like I think of myself as pre-paralegal and then on the spectrum.

But it's nice to have that connection :) Just to know there's someone that I can actually talk to without feeling intimidated (read: someone else besides Dr. Grandin) who knows what I'm going through :)

I also want to keep in touch with him. Maybe tell him what college is like and advice on what I know now that I wish I knew my Freshman year. It would be kind of cool to be his mentor of sorts. :)

I also realized this: If God gave me a little brother on the spectrum, than He could give me a HUSBAND on the spectrum or a neurotypical husband who maybe not experience what being on the spectrum is like but is understanding of all of it to live with me hehehe!!! That thought also made me smile :)

When a Desire Resurfaces

I'm in the house of Summitview nerdlings (children of parents who are both enginerds) watching them for an evening.  We ended the evening of Lego robot demonstrations and Star Wars Wii with a Bible study.  I won't lie,  it felt weird teaching a passage to kids outside of a classroom setting and in a different age group than what I'm used to. 


But when I was done,  I felt an odd feeling: the desire to be a Christian parent.  Yup.  You read right!! The spectrumite who until recently assumed she would neeeeeever marry because a certain famous spectrumite never did is rethinking all that.

Here are my feelings on all this:

Why do I want to get married all of a sudden?  Because what if God really DOES have an earthly man who gets me enough to want to tie the knot?  It would make me happy.  The adjustment would take getting used to, but I would be less scared knowing said guy would be there to help too!  Plus nerdlings are so cute!!!!  God, if I with copious COPIOUS amounts of Your help raise a future scientist, doctor,  or professor who wants to reach academia for Jesus, that would be SOOOOOO COOOOOOL!  And even if I pop out super-nerdlings (spectrumites) I'd understand them and they'd understand me and that would be cool!!!! 
I still want a career and I'm not ready to rely fully on a guy to support myself + progeny.  I like the idea of me relying on myself (somewhat since God ultimately provides) putting money in the bank.  I also like the single life: roommate dinners, eating ice cream for dinner and leftovers for breakfast (sometimes). But I am opening up again to see that I still think it would be cool to raise the next generation of. Christians. Not as the ultimate HDFS badge of "you made it!!!!!!" But if that is how God wants to show His power through limited people :):)

Worship on a Not-So-Tropical Island

The book of Revelation begins with Jesus Himself crashing John's solo Sabbath Worship Dance Party!!!!!!  Ok - I don't really know if John was having a little dance party on Patmos,  but here's what I figure: after being by a lonesome exile for a while I'm sure dancing wildly by oneself would be a legitimate way to pass the time.  In my head...Or maybe he was collecting starfish and playing Sunday School with them or something :)

But I thought to myself: John, after being persecuted and possibly seeing friends die for the faith, still chooses to worship God. That is cool!  Not everyone could do that.  Observing the Sabbath wasn't just something he did around his Christian friends and he didn't pray only with them.  His faith was something he cultivated on his own too keep it up on an isolated island.

And maybe seeing persecution and hard times strengthened his faith when he chose to talk to God through it.  That is pretty cool!!!!!!

Updates!

Hello blogsphere!!!!!!!

Seems as if I owe this blog an update!

I'm wrapping up my Gross Anatomy class.
I didn't get into OT school.
I applied for paralegal school.
My roommate and I planted garlic cloves that were already growing :) They're now in the soil by our little parking lot hee hee!

I feel like a post today

My brain is all sorts of random today! Actually, my brain is really just this --->

Today and every day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D but anyhoo, yeah! 

I read a friend's blog today because she posted a link for it on FB and I read it like, "Yup! Gotta remember to pray for her - and - oooh! send her a pretty card or something cute in the mail to make her smile because a) it's nice to make people smile and b) it's even nicer when you make 'em smile when they're having a rough patch in life. 

I also read my friend's blog and was like, "Holy crap! I so don't write like that!!!!" Sometimes I think I have more of a dude-style blog. A lot of women's blogs just go straight into, "Today I feel so ____ and I was in a situation where I felt ____ and now I feel _____ and this person made me feel _______ and now after writing this I feel______" and there's much more emotion emitting from it. 

But that's not how my brain works, and that's completely ok because I mean - look at the picture in this post: The brain is COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It just is and God made it and He made mine awesomely even though it doesn't work like everyone elses' tee hee hee hee!


Here's how my posts generally go:


1) Here's a summary of a situation I was in.
2) Here's my analysis from an HDFS and/or Biblical point of view
3) Here's why that's significant to my life and what I learned.


My posts usually can be categorized as analytical posts (following the above outline), the just-for-fun random posts (like this one), updates on my life posts, and mostly in 2010, I had quite a few: TEMPLE GRANDIN IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! posts :D :D heheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheeeee!!!!!!!!!!! :D 

I think that recognizing that my blog posts look different from my friends' is a valid point. Seeing a concrete example of how my brain thinks differently than theirs is a reminder to help me interact in their world better :) 

Welp cool! That ends said random post! Now for some rice cookings and eatings and then time to study the anatomy of the thorax since I'm taking Gross Anatomy at CSU (Surprise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)  :D 

Carrying a whole stadium or person on your shoulders

This may come as a surprise to some people, but I consider myself a Bronco fan. Surprising to people because I don't really write or talk about sports much. I'm not the kind of fan that knows all the stats and stuff, but I like to go over to people's houses and watch games if they extend the invitation. Bronco merchandise that I own includes a Broncos t-shirt and squishy pillow :) 


Like much of Colorado and other Football fans, I have been intrigued by Tim Tebow. As a Christian, I am encouraged at how he isn't afraid to talk about God during and after the games. I also smile when I hear from his teammates during interviews that Tebow encourages them even during difficult times. The way Tebow demonstrates his faith as he plays for the Broncos encourages me to live out my faith in my own life. 


The Broncos ended their season yesterday loosing spectacularly to the Patriots. What struck me more than the difference in the scores was this: A lot of people put their hope in Tebow to win the game. In some ways it's just like how Mom would sit in front of the TV and yell at Elway whenever the Broncos messed up. And when my aunt and I would watch the Broncos (pom-poms in hand) when I was a kid, we would yell, "C'mon Elway! C'mon, THROW!" when they would be on the line of scrimmage. The quarterbacks always seem to be the center of attention / blame during games. 

Though the Broncos did win 5 games in a row, it seems like the team was still getting used to new players, new coach, and a new quarterback. That became apparent when we lost to the Patriots. Twice. But, apparently our team overall has improved a lot since the beginning of the season! I really do think that Tebow has something to do with it since the quarterbacks rally the team. 


 I think since Tebow is a very outspoken Christian, a lot of people hope that since he has The Big One aka God on his side, they think he's more likely to pull off miracle wins. The expectation about supernatural help on the football field probably adds to the pressure Tebow feels already as a quarterback. 

During the last Broncos-Patriots game, I started to feel sorry for Tebow. Not just because the score was 31-7 at half-time, but because of the weight he had on his shoulders of Broncos fans hoping his connection with God would produce a win. Did he feel like he was carrying Mile High Stadium, or the whole city of Denver on his shoulders? If he did, I have felt that same way. 


Instead of a whole city's hope of a winning touchdown or field goal on my shoulders, I've felt the weight of my mom's hopes and dreams on me. Her self-esteem was determined by my successes or failures. As a child, this was a heavy weight to bear. Just like a Broncos loss brings Tebow heavy criticism from the media, not meeting my mother's expectations brought shame. And just like Tebow is put on a pedestal when the Broncos win, my accomplishments brought me lots of praise, and I was expected to do more. 


This life of being so up and down in other people's eyes was hard for me, and I figure it's got to be difficult for Tebow. However, Tebow has something I didn't have growing up. He has the assurances of God's promises and love being sure. Christ won the battle for Tebow's soul. Christ gives Tebow worth, and dignity. God loves Tebow completely because by faith, Tebow has righteousness through Christ. Therefore, the stings of critical fans or press when he looses a game won't hurt as bad, and he doesn't have to mitigate that shame by winning to regain their love. In Christ alone his hope is found - in his fans or the press  - all others is sinking sand. I pray that he continues to remember that. 

2011 in review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah! So, I got the idea of going month by month from my friend and her really awesome update blog!!! 


January 2011 - um..... um.......... uuuuuuuuuuuum...... well, I baked the giant cookie of eek that was gum drops in lieu of chocolate chips, and I baked the dough in a brownie pan so it was a cookie cake and I topped it with SPRINKLES and brought it to a Symbio New Years Eve party :)  

Oh, and I watched the Superbowl with my CSU football jersey because I didn't have a Packers jersey. 




February - Um - not much. I think I convinced a friend to join Symbio hehe - oh more accurately, I helped her sort out her thoughts about it in her head and she realized she should join :D Oh, and I got to volunteer with a Rock girl in the nursery at church and that was fun getting to know her and the little people! 

March - NERDFEST 2011!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or more accurately the "Transition and Transformation" conference at CSU focusing on the Opportunities for Postsecondary Success which is a pilot program helping students on the autism spectrum adjust to life in college!!!!!!!!!!!! This  was the conference where I got a book signed by Dr. Temple Grandin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Did I post a blog about this???? Oh, yes, I did!!! :D Ok - well - sort of! 


April - I, on somewhat of a spur of the moment, decided to help with this little career fair at a high school and talk about helping professions. I handed out flyers at a table to kids and also gave out candy :D Oh yes, and I turned 27!!! 27 AAAAAAAAAAAH I'M OLD - almost 30!?!?!  


Oh yeah, and I went to a Summitview women's retreat and that was fun! 

May - Got laid off from Group Home #1. Wanna know the whole story, let me know! Was super-major-extra-bummerfied!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :( :( :( :( :( I missed the ladies, I missed my co-workers, I missed my income, and it became really hard to trust God with my future and stuff! Twas no fun :( 


June - MY FRIENDS GO TO JAPAN! That's right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My Summitview peeps!!!! They went to help the people there and spread the Gospel and it was pretty epic! I kinda organized the prayer team to support them, so I was in the Japan Team in a different way. They had epic and epically sad stories from there. 

Note this picture was found with Google Images

July - I started my first pre-OT class! I decided that I want to be an occupational therapist when I grow up :) That was a major life decision. That was followed by major applications to fill out :O  

Oh yes, and I started at Group Home #2!!!!!!! I was super happy about that even though working with male clients - most who were 6 feet tall and above were sorta intimidating. However, I've gotten to know them and for the most part, they're pretty great guys. 


August - I went on a trip to upstate New York with my mom, grandma, and aunt! The upside was I got to see a bunch of family I hadn't seen before and a bunch of places I'd never seen - including Niagara falls! The downside was that sometimes I was more like a staff member for mom, grandma, and my aunt, and that sometimes got difficult. But I still enjoyed myself! 

Oh yeah, and I moved into the apartment upstairs from me :) 


September - er - uh - ABRA'S BRIDAL SHOWER! :) Yup! That was fun helping plan her bridal shower and decorating and dressing up silly and hearing her giggle as she enjoyed herself!!!!!! 


October - ABRA GETS MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) Yay! One of my best friends and confidants and the wedding was fun, she was pretty, a lot of eeeking and crying (in a good way) happened!!!!!!!! :) That made me smile and obviously made her smile and a lot of other people had fun too!!!! 

Oh - and - I GOT TO MEET DR. TEMPLE GRANDIN AND SHAKE HER HAND AND STUFF!!!!! It was REALLY COOL! After leaving the room and leaving the building, I could let out all my excitement by eeking and skipping around a nearly deserted CSU campus for 15 MINUTES!!!!!!! 

November - I registered for Anatomy / Physiology since that's a pre-OT requirement. Also wrapped up applications for OT school! 


December - I bought my own Christmas tree!!! Sparkly and pretty and only 5 dollars! 

December 2011 was the month of the 3 Christmases :) There was a D-Team Christmas where we all ate a big dinner together, the Christmas at the group home, and Christmas with my mom in Denver a few days after the real Christmas. :) I had fun! 


Yup! That's been my year! :)