Last Paralegal Class!

Greetings from the Arapahoe Community College library! I just finished my...

LAST PARALEGAL CLASS EVER!! 

That's right! All I have to do is finish my last Legal Research paper and pass Legal Research and then I'm doooooooooooooone!!!! :) 

In June 2012, I was beginning classes and I had just signed up to be a volunteer at Colorado Legal Services. In fact, my first legal volunteer experience was at the 2012 Senior Law Day where I helped participants find their conference rooms and timed a speaker in one room about mediation and the probate process. I had heard about it in Intro to Legal Studies and I volunteered with a girl from Property Law. 

That was the beginning of my 1 year long volunteer experience at Colorado Legal Services, 5 month internship at Metro Volunteer Lawyers, and the stepping stone to my present legal assistant position that I have had almost three months. 

I never dreamed I would make it this far and seemingly so easily. I felt God give me a promise that this job search would not be like the last time, and I give all credit to Him. Also, I want to say I am grateful for my ability to do legal work and learn administrative work, but I do not want to take all the glory. That belongs to God alone. 

I've met a lot of good friends in my paralegal program, and I know I will keep in touch with many of them after we graduate. More importantly, I can begin the next phase of my adventures in Denver: Moving out!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mom, the free rent was great, but now I'm outta here!!!!! 

So here's to almost having my paralegal certificate! It's been a great journey, now I just have to get back to this research paper so I can finish strong! :) 

Unity is Epic!

A fellow blogger and my loyal blog-stalker posted on unity focusing on how it might be errantly taught in a church setting. 

I thought about unity today when the Hope Crossing pastor asked us to pray for God to use us in the community. The worship team played a Hillsong song and I thought about my summer mission trip to Boulder with The Rock and suddenly began praying for the believers there. Then I began praying for my peeps at Summitview. Then I even prayed for my little church group way back at Denver Health that I was a part of in 2006. And of course, I prayed for Boaz's church in Parker :) 

I just felt the place in my heart for "my peeps" get bigger :) It was cool! My fellow blogger basically said that unity shouldn't be constrained to just one's local church family. Unity within that group is important, and God can expand your heart to be in unity in prayer with so many other believers!!!! It's really cool and really trippy that you could pray for the whole entire Church - all the Christians on the planet and at that moment, you would be united with every believer. Mind. Blown! 

Today I realized that could be possible when I prayed for all my local churches, and I realized that only with God is this unity on an epic scale possible! 

Be Lifted Higher than all You've Overcome

Sometimes listening to songs, one line jumps out at me and my brain chews on it for a while.

Chris Tomlin’s “Jesus Son of God” is one of those songs.

“Be lifted higher than all You’ve overcome / Your Name be louder than any other song / There is no power that can come against Your love / The Cross was enough / The Cross was enough.”

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! First of all, this song is special to me because my Boaz and I have sang along to it multiple times and any reminders of him make me smile.

But beyond geeking about yet another song my boyfriend (man-friend) and I have in common, there is the EPIC TRUTH expressed by the song!!!!!!!!

Think about it.

Jesus was subject to all evil: The corruption of a government (the Roman criminal justice system), the betrayal of friends (Judas), public humiliation, poverty, pain, physical and mental pain, marginalization by society (the Roman government as well as the Jewish political leaders), intense physical pain, a slow agonizing death, and death itself.

Yet what did He do on Easter?

HE ROSE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He OVERCAME all that listed above, and that’s just the short abridged large-scale list.

I think about the arena where Passion: White Flag was recorded as I’m guessing it was at a large scale venue (my Boaz would then dork around on the internets and find it to please his music-nerd self, but I wanna get this blog post out). But anyway, there were probably thousands of stories in that room. There were probably thousands of struggles: Unemployment or underemployment (coming out of the Great Recession), loss of family / friends, chronic illnesses, broken relationships, hurts from childhood, individuals living lives adapting to one or more disabilities, victims of crime, victims of civil wrongs, people recovering from substance abuse, and the list could go on and on. All these people were at Passion to praise God and to see Chris Tomlin and his posse.

I imagine that moment of singing those words: Be lifted higher than all You’ve overcome / Your name be louder than any other song / there is no power that can come against Your love /The Cross was enough brought many people to tears, brought many people to their knees as the struggles they faced came to their minds and hearts. And then I bet their worship grew even deeper as they realized the Truth expressed in the song: For every injustice and moment(s) of pain represented in that room, Christ has overcome. Christ is lifted higher than all of it. As the people in the room and as I reflect on this truth, I can run to God for comfort and hope in the midst of struggle.

The Cross was enough. The Cross was Enough

Worshipping my Provider then and now

I'm listening to Shane and Shane's CD "Psalms".  Psalm 13 was one song I would often listen to when I was doing my job search in Fort Collins. Those were hard times. I applied to a crap ton of jobs just to find the group home jobs. Those weren't bad and the clients were great when they listened to staff :D 

But were my group home jobs my dream jobs coming out of grad school? No.   Did God provide still? Yes :)

Now here I am a legal assistant at a Probate and Estates law firm. This is a step down from paralegal, but I am still song substantive legal work. One could say that I am really close to my chosen career. Yes I am. Very close. 

Currently I am on my commute home pondering my Fort Collins job search compared to my paralegal job search. In some ways they were the same; I had some volunteer experience in the field but was looking for something more involved in a paid position. I was also aware of my Aspergers and had help around that and interviews and such. I had to make sure the jobs were on bus lines convenient for me. Most importantly I had a church body supporting me and praying for me in both places :):)

In Fort Collins, I felt alone. I had Mom's worries pressing on me as well as my own and I felt like no one understood that aspect of my situation. In Denver, I had more confidence that countered Mom's worrying. In Fort Collins, I was surrounded by people with good jobs they got by working hard or dumb luck while I struggled to find above minim wage work. In Denver I was still surrounded by people with jobs and people aspiring to get jobs in the legal profession. This was something many volunteers at Colorado Legal Services had in common. In Fort Collins, the job search seemed never ending, and in a way it was. I searched for a job from August 2009 until February 2012. Wow. In Denver I searched from March 2013 until now. I will hope to get promoted within the law firm or find a paralegal job after a few years in my current position. 

What didn't change is my faith in God. In Fort Collins it was faith through frustration and tears as God grew that faith deeper. In Denver it was faith and calling on the lessons I learned in Fort Collins. It was faith growing deeper still. 

As I listen to Psalms and let God reminde of those times I cry remembering the hard times and  I cry in gratefulness that I was never truly alone. I smile because God provided for my material needs then and now, and He provided the sustaining grace to persevere. 

A flood in my old home

I am still in somewhat of a surreal shock. 

My own state is partially underwater. Though I had a pretty sunny day in Southwest Denver, I know that east of Boaz's side of Parker, there is still flooding. 

And there is flooding in Fort Collins. My old home. 

It hits home when Mom and I hear the news and I start talking about, "Oh yeah, that path is north of Old Town..." and my memories of Fort Collins come back. 

Of walking around Old Town
Of walking down the Spring Creek Trail
Hiking up Horsetooth
Hanging out at Rolland Moore Park
Being a CSU Ram 

I think a lot about the guys' group home where I worked. It is by Overland and Vine. I think they should be ok, but I know two guys had rooms in the basement, so everyone might be on the first and second floor for a bit. 

For some of my friends in the law firm it's still happening "over there." The streets they take to work aren't washed out. Their houses aren't flooded (though one friend had some water in her basement, but she got a dry-vac). I can think it's "over there" because mom's house isn't flooded, and my bus routes work. 

But my heart tells me that it is where my former church family is. My friends' postings on Facebook remind me that my friends are affected or very close to affected areas. 

I am reminded that the flood is in my old home. 

And my old home is in my prayers. 

First Week Done!

Hello Blogsphere!!!

Yes, the Facebook post is true!!! I am currently working at a law firm as an office / legal assistant! Today marked the end of my first week at my new job. The law firm handles Probate and Estate planning and administration. Because this is a public blog, I will not reveal the name of my law firm to ensure I comply with its confidentiality policy.

Google Images

The people at the firm are very nice! The first day I got to know the receptionist and the law clerk that work there. The law clerk took the bar exam and is waiting for her results. Once she passes (we all assume she will), she will be the fourth lawyer in the firm. The office manager and I were classmates in the Probate and Estates class in the summer. The two paralwgals are also nice, as is the bookkeeper. They have made me feel welcome and are willing to train me on my duties. The bookkeeper sits next to me and noticed I had to lean in close  to the screen. She said she would look into getting a longer cord for my monitor so I could pull it closer. I told her she was so sweet to think of that!!!!

Thinking back to my time at Colorado Legal Services, I see how many of those skills helped me. I had practice talking to clients and using the client tracking system. I also knew how to use templates and how to draft documents. More importantly, I learned how an office environment worked in a practical sense and in a social sene. As an Aspie, I spent that year at CLS learning social skills and being comfortable in that social environment. I learned when we ha to speak and act professionally, and when my co-workers and I could share a small giggle. 

Sometimes I felt overwhelmed with all the tasks because I was learning a new law office and learning new tasks. I think the transition to being a newbie was harder because at my internship, I helped my attorney train some of the new interns. Now I was the one receiving all the training. Fortunately, like I said earlier, everyone was nice :)

I am grateful to God for my new job, and I thank Him every day that I have it :) Here's to growing my paraelgal career with this law firm!!!!!

The man of my 90's love song dreams

On Spotify, I'm making a playlist of the music I listened to in high school and college just for a nice walk down memory lane. 

Google Images - yes that round thing is called a discman. Where things called CDs were inserted for awesome tunes.



Reminiscing about the sappy love songs I listened to from Mariah Carey, N'Sync, and Backstreet Boys, I suddenly realized that when I listened to those songs, those were like prayers to God for Him to find me a man who would make me feel all sappy inside. 

Even in high school, I didn't just want 'arm candy.' I wanted a boyfriend who would care for me and be genuinely interested in me for me. I thought I wasn't worthy of a boyfriend because I didn't look like the girls on the cover of Seventeen magazine. I wasn't rich and I couldn't buy the latest brand-name clothes or drive a stylish car. At sixteen, I was learning how to ride the bus while my other friends were getting cars. I thought I was too different, too nerdy, to shy, to nearsighted to get a boyfriend. 

Somehow through my teen years, God kept me trusting in Him. Did I crush on guys I thought were cute? Yes. My friends and I spent lots of time giggling about famous guys (like N'Sync) and cute guys in our classes. But somehow I had this idea that God would bring the guy to me when I was ready. 

Enter: BOAZ!!!!!!!!! :) 

That's him! SQUEAK!



Sweet, kind, dorky Boaz!!!!! :) 

Loves me for me, cares genuinely for me, and I make him smile - quirks and all! And I want to love him back for those same reasons :) 

Wow! It's so funny how all those years back when I was laying in bed listening to my discman and wondering if God had a boyfriend for me, God was preparing my Boaz for when we would meet.... 15ish years later! He heard the prayers of my heart as I listened to my 90's love songs so one day my 60's guy (because he was born in 1969) to meet and exceed all of them :) 

So then I was going along and....What NEW BLOG?

Sometimes my brain goes along and I'm thinking and ... SQUIRREL! 

Well, my writing part of my brain is no different. Actually, I've been thinking about this for a while. 

I have a new blog: http://whenboazshowedup.blogspot.com :) called When Boaz Showed Up. It's about my adventures in dating. But more than just a blog exclusively devoted to gushing about Boaz, I really wanted to share how God has worked in our relationship, and my reflections on dating and singleness and contemplating marriage. 

Warning: this blog will not be the flowery pretty cover books you see in the women's section of the Christian book store. Because I just want to tell it straight up because that's how God taught me. 

However, I do hope it is an encouragement to all who read it and in reading the blog, they will learn more about God :) 

Da Blawg Update

WHAZZUPPPP BLOGSPHERE!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! 

Uhh... Hi! I haven't written in a while. Internship and job searching and Probate and Estates class had been taking up my life UNTIL NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I am done with Probate and Estates :) The course was taught by a well known probate lawyer who knew his stuff and was excited to teach :) 

No, I did not land a job at his firm, but I am still looking for jobs. Had two interviews so far! WOOT! God promised me this job search would not be like the last one (The Epic Job Search Of 2009 to 2010 in the midst of the Great Recession). First of all, Mom isn't as much on my case day to day (WOO HOO!) and second of all, I have some friends who are also job searching so we feel each others' pain :) More importantly, my trust is in God and that trust and faith in Him have grown so much more solid than they were in 2009. God used The Great Recession to make me put my faith in Him, to thank Him for the talents and skill set He had given me, and to tear away my identity in a job and/or accomplishments to focus my identity on Him. 

That means that I could talk about my job search without constantly crying and melting-down in front of my friends.... AND MY BOAZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :) Heee heeee heee! 

Giggles :) 

I've gotten to hang with Boaz and his son a few times over the summer. Little guy is cute and we both love Boaz so yeah :) Last night my man was fixing up a scrumptious dinner of chicken breast, Rice a Roni, and beans while singing and dancing in his kitchen. His son and I sat at the table giggling at him. It was great! Then of course, the meal was tasty :) 

Oh yes, and my internship. I am still there :) My supervising attorney has put me in a bit of a position of second in command when it comes to training the newer interns. It feels sorta strange, but nice because I'm learning how to be a good co-worker and leader :) 

I am also working part time at Ross too. WOO HOO MORE MONEY! And a 20% employee discount. I'm using that discount wisely and getting stuff I really do need and not just random clothes and odds and ends. It's a nice little job until I get my first paralegal gig. 

Welp, that's little me in a nutshell. Even though yes, I want a paralegal job, I am honestly thankful and happy for where God has me right now :) :) 

Obligatory Paralegal Nerd Supreme Court Post!!!

Supreme Court Building, Washington DC Google Images

Hello, Blogsphere! I had to do a post on the Supreme Court decision of United States v. Windsor. This is the DOMA case. I've been reading this case because the  dispute arose due to the estate tax that we're learning about in Probate and Estate Planning class. 

Before I get into what I want to say, I'll quickly lay out my philosophical foundation for thinking about the Supreme Court decision: 

1. I believe there is a God and He manifested Himself as Jesus Christ. He proved that He was the Savior for the world by dying on the cross and rising again. The consequences of his Resurrection: the growth of the Christian church amid heavy persecution, the radical cultural shift in the Roman empire once the culture accepted Christianity, and billions of individuals' personal testimonies validate its reality. 

2. I believe God has provided evidence about Himself and guidelines for how the world works through the Bible comprising the Old and New Testament. 

3. I believe God offers salvation to everyone. No sin is too great for Him to forgive. He forgave murderers and those considered treasonous to their own culture (Jewish tax-collectors). He forgave several people in sexual sin (The woman at the well and the woman who wiped his feet with her hair). People are saved upon accepting Christ as Savior and trusting in Him to forgive sins, save them from ultimate judgement, and transform their lives here on earth. 

4. With this foundation, I believe God has spoken clearly in the Old and New Testament about human sexuality prohibiting deviations from hetero-sexual relations within the context of marriage. Even so, God does not exclude these deviations from the saving grace of Christ. Meaning, God is willing and able to forgive people that have transgressed in this area. 

Alrighty! Disclaimers are out of the way :D They were not meant to be the crux of this post, but I needed to lay them out before I went on with this post. 

So how did I react to the Supreme Court decision? My thoughts verbatim were: "Let the Continuing Legal Education begin!" I thought about my time at Metro Volunteer Lawyers and at Colorado Legal Services and wondered how would this ruling affect my clients. So far, I have come up with: those who were same-sex married in other states would now be considered married under any federal laws that would apply to them. For example, social-security benefits, the estate-tax, and other federal laws would apply now. 

How do I feel about that? Honestly, even though I do not think that sort of relationship is Biblical or God's design, I am grateful that I live in a country where the highest court sees giving rights to a group society considers marginalized as a priority. This is looking at it purely from a paralegal student's standpoint as one who is entering a position where I examine the law and apply the law as a major part of my future job. 

Thinking about this as a future paralegal, I didn't think about this ruling as being brought about by fringe activists, nor did I think about it firstly as eroding the fabric of society so to speak. I thought in terms of: How would this affect a real client I might see? How would this affect a client who walked through the doors of Colorado Legal Services and had a legal matter involving a same-sex partner and the federal laws? 

As a fledgling paralegal, I feel like I have an obligation to help my supervising attorney explain the law to people if he wants to hold a training or something even if I don't agree with the law. Because I am in a position where I can help an attorney educate the public about the law, the Supreme Court's stance on DOMA isn't a scary "hands-away! That thing is evil and unclean!!" to me. I realize that it's just case-law like any other appellate court decision, and I should reference it if it's going to help my attorney's clients. It's my duty as a paralegal. Knowing that makes this whole thing less "scary." 

Does that mean I have changed my fundamental positions listed above? No. After getting to know several people in these type of relationships, I don't think of the ruling as "Them (the increasingly secular American society) versus Us (Christians who believe the Bible as the Word of God as applicable to every day life including sexuality)." I think of it as a ruling coming down after interpretation of the law and applying it to the current society. 

Does it say something about the current society? Yes. I believe it confirms that our society is embracing secular postmodernism. What does this mean for my life? Well, this means that I need to understand exactly what I believe because the culture conforms less and less to a Christian worldview. Therefore, I need to be able to explain myself clearer when asked about my beliefs. More importantly, this also indicates that as a Christian, I must be more purposeful. I can't blend into society because society's rules are straying from the rules and norms of the Bible. To truly demonstrate what Christianity is so others can know Christ, I need to somehow live in such a way where I am different. I don't want to live in an "I'm right, they're wrong" mentality. That would push people away from the Gospel. But I am convicted that I need to live and treat people in a way that makes people ask, "Why does she do or believe that?" and I have ask God for the courage to explain about Christ when they ask. 

Looking into the future, I know this will affect how Boaz and I raise our kids (assuming Boaz and I get married :D and have kids :D :D :D :D :D ) because the children may not absorb many facets of the Christian worldview from the culture. In fact, they may be taught an entirely different worldview outside of the home and the church. Does that mean Boaz and I should prepare to raise children in Christian isolation? No. Because they will need to know how the world works and understand others' worldview so they will be able to present the Gospel coherently to their peers. That is the main point of teaching children a Christian worldview: To lead them to Christ so they come to a saving knowledge of Him and then share the good news with those around them so that others may be saved. 

So, this is a very long analysis of the Supreme Court decision from all different angles. These things will be things I ponder for quite a while, and I will be praying about how God wants me to respond to this decision and change in the culture. Because I want the way I respond to point to Him. 

Courts, Cancer, and the Sovereignty of God

As I watched the special report from CBS News about two Supreme Court rulings this morning, I was reminded of another day about a year ago. 

I was a new paralegal student watching a special report about the Supreme Court upholding the law commonly called "Obamacare." After taking notes on their decision, I decided to check my friend's blog. 

Her three year old daughter was diagnosed with Stage IV Neuroblastoma. 

Suddenly the constitutionality of a healthcare law faded into the background. It didn't matter in comparison to this:

A child I had seen running around the halls of Summitview, this child I've laughed with as she wore a princess dress at a party, this child that giggled about eating a cup-cake "all gone" could die.

This child wasn't mine, but her family was and is still dear to many Summitview friends and I. I had taught this girl's older sisters in Sunday School. Images of this child flashed through my head; her playing, her smiling and saying hi, her eagerly biting into a Summitview cookie. 

Could God be taking her away? 

I explained to Mom about her situation and then excused myself to go for a walk. Going for a walk allowed me to think and have prayer time with God. 

And I cried. And cried. 

Please, God, don't take this precious little girl away from her family. Please don't make her older sisters cry. 

I knew God was sovereign over everything and everyone from the Supreme Court Justices to this little girl. I prayed to understand in a deeper way and I prayed for God to hold me as I cried.

I prayed for God to be with her parents who would shed more tears and feel the pain of her diagnosis infinitely more than I was at that moment. 

I thanked God for being accessible through Christ to comfort those in need. I thanked God that somehow He would use this situation to spread the news that He came to seek and to save. 

Through my tears, my anchor was God who I knew to be sovereign over Supreme Court decisions and a little girl's cancer. 

And I could rest in that sovereignty because Jesus' death for sinners verifies that He is good. 

Revisiting the soundtrack of trials

As Christians, we should always crave more of God. Sometimes it takes circumstances to force us to crave more of God. I had that today. 

Anyway, I decided to sync my ipod / iphone to new music. I chose music that I listened to in college when I was going through trials. Now, one might think, "Um... when you're going through hard times, why are you listening to songs you listened to during hard times??" 

Well, friends, the answer is this: God used these particular songs (2 worship CD's to be exact) at different times to remind me that He is God and sovereign and good and faithful and gracious to me during my past trials. I am reminded of how my faith was grown through tears and I am reminded of how in the midst of a trial, I felt God's love in a stronger deeper way. 

Listening to the soundtracks of my trials brings back tears and forces me to revisit these truths in light of my current situation. Listening to these songs encourages me as I draw closer to God in prayer and worship. Therefore, listening to these songs in this way ultimately allows God to encourage me and grow me :) 

Job Search II: The Search for More Money!

That's adapted from a line in Spaceballs where Yogurt says, "Join us in Spaceballs II: the search for more money!" 

Anyway yeah! 

A little job update from me: 

I had an interview with CLS and we shall see :) I am also registered with several Paralegal temp agencies. One of them gave me some good advice about how resumes should be formatted in the legal world. They should be in chronological order with the job duties listed below each employment entry. That was helpful :) 

Anyway, one interesting thing is this: Last time in Katie's Job Search take I, when there was a job I really REALLY wanted, I would freak out and get very anxious. I don't do that this time. One factor is that I am on a very low dose of anti-anxiety meds. But the larger reason is that I trust God and the degree to which I trust God has increased such that I do not give way to fear as easily as I once did. 

How do I do that even when I live in the same house as a beloved worry-wort (I love you, Mom!) Because I know God has this in His hands. I think I had to go through Job Search I: The attack of my (and Mom's anxiety) for me to really experience how God truly is sovereign over my career path. I just tell myself, "Katie, you have so much more going for you now then you did in Fort Collins. You aren't hindered as much with your inability to drive, the transit systems are better here, there are more jobs with the larger population, and you already spent a year in a legal environment." More importantly, God has grown my faith. 

Do I still want the CLS job? Yes I do! If that doesn't pan out, I know something else will :) 

His Bow in the sky

Today Mom and I were coming out of Rosemary's Cafe - a local establishment near our house - when we saw this beautiful summer rainbow in the sky :) Incidentally, it is near my old church which is in the right of the picture: Notre Dame Church. 

Today's beautiful rainbow

The sight brought a smile and internal eeks and squeaks to my mind because God was telling me that everything would be ok. That His promises were true. That He would provide. I know this because He has assured me two other times with providing His bow in the sky. 

In the summer of 2009, I was in El Paso, TX. Fresh out of grad school, I was looking for a temporary job there while I was there on a mission trip. It was my first out-of-state mission trip, and I knew God wanted me there. Yet clinging to that truth and His biblical truths were hard as the job wasn't coming and others weren't sure I made the right economic choice to go. 

A rainbow in very-warm El Paso after the torrential rain in the desert. 

Upon returning from El Paso, I moved to Fort Collins because that was where I believed God was calling me. I moved in with wonderful girls into an apartment complex dubbed "The Quad." Again, God reminded me of His steadfast promises and His provision - even though the recession was flooding the nation and my job prospects with despair. God reminded me that He was there.  He gave me a rainbow seven days after I moved in. 

Here it is :) 

A rainbow as seen from my apartment in The Quad :)

Now as I am faced with finding a paralegal job as my internship is winding down, God is so kind to me to remind me of His promises - His provision! God provided a rainbow today to remind me that He is with me in the calm, with me in the storm, and reminds me that just like He will never flood the earth, He will never allow my mind and emotions to flood with worry if I hold fast to Him and His promises. His bow in the sky reminds me to look to Him! 

Stewardship Lesson in an Unlikely Place

Printer from Google Images

I was reminded of stewardship in a very unusual way yesterday. At my internship, the Metro Volunteer Lawyers' copier was getting fixed by the copier surgeon. My poor supervisor wanted to take a bat to the thing like the guys in Office Space, but that would make its problems much worse!! 

After reading the Intern Notebook, I realized I could use the CLS copier in the Volunteer room. We do that as a last resort because the CLS volunteers and employees get first priority for that one. 

So there went little me into the volunteer room with a giant stack of court documents to the CLS copier. As I v-e-r-y carefully fed them into the copier, I said, "Oh, please be nice, copier, you're not mine!" meaning, CLS would be mad if I broke their copier. 

Suddenly I realized I was sort of a steward of their copier. I'm a steward of MVL's stuff too because I'm a volunteer, but I felt an extra sense of 'I need to be careful because I don't normally have rights to this machine while I'm with MVL.' 

As I copied the court documents, God and I got into a discussion about stewardship. Do I treat what He gives me as carefully as I treated the CLS copier, or do I just assume He will fix something if I break it, or do I think, "No, that's mine." I took a Dave Ramsey class with Boaz and of course I thought about my finances. When I become a paralegal, will I just treat them like God will keep giving me more, or will I be careful with them like I am learning to be careful with my student loan refund? Will I think, "Oh, I can fix it because it's mine, or will I be careful because it's God's?" More importantly, will I continue to be grateful to God for what He has given me? Just as I was grateful CLS had allowed in their rules that MVL staff and volunteers could use their copier when ours was down, I have to be grateful for what God gives me because it's a gift, yet it is ultimately His. 

Little lessons can come from very strange places :) 

And yes, in case readers were wondering, I was able to copy all the court documents yesterday :D :D 

Ruth and Boaz: Not quite happily ever after?

I was being a dork last night and looking up "Ruth and Boaz marriage" mainly to see if there were any blogs of that same nature. Well, there were no blogs (as of yet ;) but there were a bunch of articles on Ruth and Boaz. Many of them referenced this article which was an article from 1906 on Jewish history.  

Picture of Boaz and Ruth from the internets

Apparently after Ruth and Boaz tied the knot, the story didn't end with: "And they lived happily ever after." because Boaz died the day after his wedding according to the above article. 

Wait... What? 

According to the article, Ruth was 40 and Boaz was 80. So the exertion needed to make Obed very well could've made him very... dead. 

That would leave Ruth and Naomi once again alone. They'd have access to all of Boaz' assets after that, but still, Ruth and Naomi would have raised Obed by themselves. 

The book of Ruth ends with Naomi praising God. Reading that in the context of Ruth being widowed a second time makes that statement more poignant. Though their kinsman-redeemer was physically gone, God gave them Obed and a house where they could raise him. God provided for them in Boaz' field. And out of Boaz and Obed's line, the true Redeemer of the world would be born. 

Because this story isn't just about Ruth and Boaz, but about Christ, it does end happily ever after. 

When dorks visit

Warning: this post is epically sappy

So Boaz visited me today at ACC. He visited me before, but today I was in class 10 minutes early paralegal-nerding out with friends when the instructor called me. I looked up and saw his cute sweet face and his Boaztically fantastic self filling the doorframe.

Yeah.

Katie

Was

Blushing.

I went out into the hallway and epic giggling and blushing and hugging commenced.

We are sharing portions of our lives already and that's so cool! I've visited him at his workplace and he's stopped by ACC several times now. The desire to make the other one gush in happiness is mutual and that is way cute!

Yet our relationship isn't built solely on gushy cuteness, but on Christ. We serve each other and love each other because Christ loved us first :):):):):)

The epic cutesy is an added blessing! Heeee heeeee heeeee!

The most Epic worship night!

On Saturday my sweet Boaz and I went to the Burning Lights Chris Tomlin concert at Red Rocks!!! It was EPIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Boaz and I holding a flag we waved during the song... "White Flag"

Kari Jobe opened and I turned into a GIANT TEAR DROP when we sang "You are for me" because God used that song to encourage me during my post grad school job search.

Reminiscing and crying in a good way were the themes of the night for me.

I "grew up" listening to Chris Tomlin in that I spent the first 10 years of my Christian life rocking out to "Forever", "Not for us", Holy is The Lord", "Indescribable", and How Great is Our God" :) oh yes, and Our God is Greater. Yeah. Chris Tomlin songs rocked the Summitview Rock Worship Nights where I unashamedly rocked my FACE for Jesus :):)

When we sang those very songs - live - with Chris Tomlin leading us in worship, my Boaz's coat got a little wet from a lot of tears leaking out of my little eyes. I remember singing those songs in joy wen I was happy and when I was geeking out about God as Creator, and I remember singing these songs to praise God through grief, loss, and wrestling with my past.

As I praised God at Red Rocks while standing next to (and dancing with) my Boaz, I squeaked and eeeked realizing this was one giant Worship Night! Instead of Travis rocking Summitview, Chris was rocking the Denver Metro area. Yet they were the same: two very talented worship leaders drawing a large crowd of people closer to God by ROCKING OUT REALLY LOUDLY! Chris Tomlin called the front the "praise pit" and I giggled because we and the mosh pit during Rock Worship Nights.

As Chris Tomlin and Kari Jobe led us in worship I sang, danced, eeeked, and cried praising God for who He is and how He has refined me by bringing me closer to Him from that very first Rock Worship Night until now.

You never stopped loving us
No matter how far we run
You never give up on us
All of Heaven shouts

Let the future begin!

I feel alive
I come alive
I am alive
on God's great dance floor

-Chris Tomlin "God's great dance floor"

INTERNSHIP!

Hi blogsphere! 

I've been so busy with my internship that I've forgotten to write about it! 

Wait.... internship!?!?!

YES! I GOT AN INTERNSHIP! 

I'm a paralegal intern at Metro Volunteer Lawyers and it's going well! I do a lot of filing papers with the courts and that entails making copies for clients' folders and making sure all the required documents are in the packet. Then I mail it off. We don't use E-file. I don't know why, but we don't. 

I also have  had a few opportunities to help clients with paperwork. This is easier than straight interviewing for my Aspie brain because our focus is the paperwork. However, I find making small talk while still focusing on the task at hand helps the clients. 

Last week, I helped a volunteer attorney prepare her client for court. It sounds more dramatic than it really was. I took notes as they talked and wrote a little outline for the client to reference when she testified. I also looked up a few statutes in a book. Yup. I rocked it old-school since we didn't have access to the Westlaw database. Anyway, the attorney let me sit with her and the client when we went into the court room. The attorney questioned the client in front of the judge, and I was glad I was the paralegal intern and not the one on the stand. Nice to know that I don't want to go to law-school :) The client thanked us profusely for our help, and that made me smile. Knowing that we helped her move forward in her divorce case made me realize that I like family law and I like working in the legal field to make a real difference in people's lives. 

Blood for a terrorism defendant

Today the news reported more about the Boston Marathon terrorism suspect who was injured in the standoff with police. The news reported that he was in the hospital and had sustained heavy blood loss. My first thought was, "Oh man, how would I like it if I donated blood and then it went to that guy??" Especially, if I was one of the people that donated blood in hopes it would help some of the injured in the bomb blast? The implication of my thought was this: A terrorism suspect is less worthy of a blood transfusion than one of the injured from the attack. 

An anchor on Fox News was also surprised that the suspect was read his Miranda Rights. My paralegal student side thought, "Yes, but that's a routine procedure in criminal law." Procedural Due-Proccess. He has a right to due process of law under the sixth-amendment of our Constitution. 

Then God brought my mind back to the idea that he received someone else's donated blood. This blood donor gave at a facility like Bonfil's Blood Center or the hospital in-house blood donation center. The donor would never have knowledge about what patient received the blood. It could have gone to a mother in the delivery unit, a cancer patient, a car-accident victim, or the criminal defendant who is currently being treated. Society sees each of these people a different way, and that affects how 'worthy' they are of fair treatment. 

How dare a defendant suspected of terrorism get read his Miranda rights! How dare the doctors keep him comfortable unless all they are doing it for is to ensure he is healthy enough for interrogation! 

Yet, God reminded me of this fact: Christ is the blood donor for all of us.  He gave His blood on the Cross to atone for my sins of lying, selfishness, blasphemy of God, etc. He gave His blood on the cross for the embezzlers, the DUI offenders, those convicted of misdemeanors  the drivers who flip off the RTD bus drivers, and the terrorists. He gave His blood for all. For both the victims of the Boston bombing and the perpetrators. Only in Christ's blood are we all washed clean of sin. 

Humbled. 

And Mind. Blown. 

The God Above Kidney Stones and Bombings

Today Mom woke me up groaning about being in pain and other symptoms. She didn't know what to do, so I called Denver Health nurse-line so we could have advice on her symptoms. The nurse recommended that Mom go to urgent care. I called my aunt and when I did not get a hold of her, I called our neighbor Nancy who would be able to take Mom to urgent care. Finally, I called my Boaz to ask him to pray for us. That was all before 8 am this morning. 

Mom's urgent care appointment went better than I thought. I think since Nancy was there, I was able to stay calmer. I did keep asking the receptionist how long Mom would have to wait since she was in a lot of pain. A nurse came out right as Mom was filling out her paperwork. Nancy and I went to breakfast after Mom went back to the exam area. 

Her appointment lasted a few hours with Nancy and I dropping by to check on her and then spending some time at Starbucks getting stuff done on our computers. Turns out Mom has a kidney stone :( It could have been a lot worse. 

I was happy Mom was able to go home and drink plenty of fluids. However, I was tired and still 'emotionally drained' and feeling sad from having to be so worried about her earlier. As I was on the bus, Mom called and told me what she heard on the news: 

There was a bombing during the Boston Marathon where at least 20 people were hurt. 

Winner from a past year

Huh? 

Wait - what? 

I got to campus and a student was looking at the news on his tablet. He showed me and I read the article. I read up on it on my computer and then did some work. 

I felt the same sadness I felt during the Aurora shooting and during the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks. 

Why was this area chosen as the crime scene? 
How horrible is it that an athlete finishes a race only to be injured by a bomb. 
What does this mean for national security? 
This could have been in Colorado where I have friends who run in these type of events. 

I listened to some Chris Tomlin "See the Morning" CD as I did some school work. Then I realized: The answer to both these things is Christ. 

God is sovereign and was Mom and my comfort when Mom had her kidney stone. God was kind to us to have my neighbor able to drive so Mom didn't have to call an ambulance. 

So where was God's kindness in the bombing in Boston today? Well, many of the other bombs did not go off. A medical tent (for the runners to ice sore muscles and sprained ankles) was close by so  the medics were able to treat the injured quickly. Police and firefighters were probably near by just as policy for a large crowd event, so they were able to help. I think Boston has more than one medical school so the injured could be transported to hospitals reasonably close by. 

But what if Mom had to have emergency surgery? What if all the bombs went off and killed 2000 people instead of 2? Where would God's kindness be? 

His kindness is that while we were still sinners He died for us. He took the wrongs of the world - from the grumbling about the slow passenger getting on the bus to bombing innocent people - onto Himself on the Cross. He took disease and death - from the common cold to cancer and ALS - onto the Cross too. 

He defeated sin, anger, war, terrorism, death, and disease when He rose from the dead. That is His kindness. That is why I can have peace in God through the small situations and the big. That is why when I cry over the small situations and the major  current events, I can receive comfort from God. He has felt this pain and then He has overcome. 

A perfect piece in His hand

"On a nationwide level, the Puzzle Piece symbol reflects the mystery and complexity of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Also, since every puzzle piece is different in some way, a puzzle piece accurately represents the diversity of the individuals affected. " - Autism UGA blog 

Today is Autism Awareness day. In June 2010, I was diagnosed with PPD-NOS mainly because no one knows why I didn't speak until age two. Was it because of my sparsely enriched environment in the Philippines or would I have had a speech delay even if I was born in the US and in a typical childhood environment? Had I not had the speech delay, I would have been diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. 

Autism Awareness month is meaningful to me because I worked in a group home where almost all the clients were on the autism spectrum. I did my best to help them using the training I had as well as personal experience. For example, I knew when one was too upset to use his words, so I would say, "I know you're too frustrated to talk, so could I just see a sign." When he would sign what he wanted, then we were able to move on. 

Today I was thinking about the significance of using a puzzle piece to represent autism. As the quote states, it's to represent the mystery and complexity of the disorder. For me, it also represents a piece that was missing for so long. I didn't know why I had these special interests and why I couldn't hold a conversation like other children. I didn't know why sudden loud sounds bothered me. I didn't know why I could learn about human development but yet have trouble interacting with my adult peers. The diagnosis of an autism spectrum disorder (ASD) was the final piece to my identity I was missing. 

When someone is handed a puzzle piece, it's meant to be put somewhere. Perhaps this also represents autism awareness: How best do we integrate those with autism spectrum disorders into society? I would suggest what Dr. Grandin would say: Place us in work environments that use our strengths. For example, I don't mind researching case-law and statutes, and I could do that to write a legal brief. Could I give a speech in front of the Colorado Supreme Court for half an hour? Probably not. Could I write the brief the attorney would use in her arguments. Perhaps after a few years :) Kanner, who researched autism last century found that an individual who enjoyed math and numbers became an accountant. And of course, there's Dr. Grandin herself who owns her own Livestock Handling business and is an avid researcher at Colorado State University. Her love of animals and fascination with animal behavior has made her one of the most epic scientists ever!!! 

When I see myself as a puzzle-piece, I do not think of it negatively. I see myself as a piece in God's hand. He has crafted me into His exact shape, and He has a place for me. He has placed me as an employee at a group home, as a teacher in Children's Ministry at Summitview, as a volunteer at Colorado Legal Services, as a research assistant at Colorado State University, and more recently, as a unique part of my Boaz's heart :D 

More importantly, God has placed me in His larger plan to show Himself to the world as Savior and God. He is using my life in this way. How, I don't know yet. However, Romans 8 says that God uses ALL THINGS for the good of those who love Him. He uses  people going about their normal lives, missionaries, pastors, parents, and little puzzle pieces like me to show that in Christ, we have hope that overcomes our obstacles. I am not a mystery to God, and He knows exactly where to place me in His plan. I am a perfect piece in His hand. 

Mentor

I just got home from a day at the zoo with Boaz and his son Bobby*. Boaz has Bobby for Spring Break before he goes back to Pennsylvania. Boaz sees Bobby over the summers and school breaks. This is the same boy who may get tested for Asperger Syndrome later. 

*Name changed for purposes of this blog.

As I was preparing to meet Bobby, I did some research on how people come into the role of step-parent. This might become a reality in my life if/when Boaz and I get married. I asked God what He would want for me as a step-parent of a kid with Asperger Syndrome. I knew from my HDFS classes that I wold come alongside Boaz and continue to allow him be the primary parent as far as rule-setting and such. 

One thought that kept coming to me was one word: Mentor 

Image from Google Images

I could be a mentor to Bobby as a) someone who loves Boaz and wants to support him in his parenting and b) as a significant adult in Bobby's life who also happens to have an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). I know somewhat about where Bobby is coming from. Of course, I need to know him as a person first, and that will come over time. But even today, I would notice that he really liked this gravel pit with large pebbles. I said, "That feels really cool on your hands, huh?" Because I knew it was a sensory thing. I also asked him, "You can't stop thinking about those chair-lifts, can you?" Because he had a pretty strong one-track mind about that until Boaz took him and I on the chair-lifts over the zoo. 

Bobby let me hold his hand to get off of the chair-lift and let me help him with his ice-cream. He asked Boaz if I was going to be around tomorrow, and Boaz explained that I would be celebrating Easter with my family and they would celebrate with theirs. 

Tonight, I was hit with the reality that God had been preparing my heart to be this eight year old boy's mentor for a long time. I was a nanny to some kids for two summers a while back and I've learned how to bond with kids that were not biologically or legally mine. Finally, I've had a longing to be an example to others on the Autism Spectrum ever since I got my diagnosis and went to two of Temple Grandin's lectures. 

God works in mysterious but awesome ways. I continue to pray that as I grow closer to Boaz and Bobby, that God would continue preparing my heart for the most important mentoring job I will probably have: Helping the man I love parent and show Christ to his son, and show this boy that God allows us to triumph over challenges He has allowed in our lives. 

The Struggle In Between

Francesca Basttistelli "Time In Between" 

Don't take much for this crazy world

To rob me of my peace

And the enemy of my soul

Says You're holding out on me

So I stand here lifting empty hands

For you to fill me up again

But it's the time in between

That I fall down to my knees

Waiting on what You'll bring

And the things that I can't see

I know my song's incomplete

Still I'll sing in the time in between

[ From: http://www.elyrics.net ] 

Boaz and I were talking last night about different struggles we had with  being single in our pre-coupledom days. We both admitted that it's hard to admit  that we struggled with wondering how God would fill us in that 'time in between.' 

Sometimes I think there is shame in saying, "I'm impatient. I want something and I struggle to find it on my own rather than trust God for my desires." There is this sense that to be a good Christian, I have to patiently wait and God's grace in giving me what I want is contingent upon how patiently I wait. That shame tends to make me not talk about how I give in to my desires - even to God. 

Boaz felt the same way and we talked about how God grows us as we come to Him in the midst of the struggle in our 'time in between' - our time in between jobs, our time in our singleness, our tine in between wanting something and getting it. When Boaz and I were real about our desperation before God and how God came through in giving us the patience to wait and the comfort that He was there, I felt something cool. 

I felt that shame I had felt earlier about my struggles disappear  It was replaced with gratitude toward God :) Gratitude for: His blood covering my sin when I did give in without Him, His promise that He is enough, His comfort, and His love as a Father and Lord to tell me that He loved me and He has a plan for me :) Boaz felt the same way :) 

In the struggles in between as we wait for our hearts' desires, we learned that there is no shame in the struggle as we cried out to God  and waited as He showed us that He is enough :) 

Where your treasure is...

Woot for getting a lot of homework done today!!!! Well... studying for a test, reading for another class, and writing / editing two short assignments. 

In a way, I'm glad I have a lot assignments to keep my brain busy. 

Otherwise, I'd be sitting around waiting for Boaz to call. He's en route to Colorado from Pennsylvania. For some reason, I can have this fear that 'oh no, something happened!' that is a carryover from growing up with a worry-wort. 

Anyway,  yeah. Suddenly the verse hit me: "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:21. In context, the verse is about storing up economic wealth. But I realized that Boaz's out of town-ness made me think about how I trust God with him. 

Do I trust that this relationship is from God and that God is taking care of Boaz in the same way He is taking care of me? 

Or do I worry that God would let both of us down by not caring for Boaz and dissapointing us? 

Furthermore, if Boaz' plane got hit by a stray meteor, would I be crushed because I had placed Boaz  in the position of being my everything in place of God? Or would I trust God and be sad, but know God has life go on (and thank God that I wasn't married so I wouldn't have to worry about dealing with Boaz' probate matters along with my own life). 

But it's interesting to think about. Are there times I just wish his plane would get into DIA and I could see a text or hear him on my phone? Yup! Totally! Not just because, "Ooooh, BOAZ I NEED YOU!!" but because I really am interested in how his trip went. And I also do hope he gets a good rest before he goes to work tomorrow :) 

And I am thankful for this trip because for him, he was able to see his son and God used it to give me a reality check to see if Boaz was where my treasure was, or if I am still putting Christ as my first treasure of my heart :) 

Just a little bit of history repeating

I know of an elementary school aged boy who has recently had a diagnosis of an attention deficit disorder (ADD or ADHD), but one of his caregivers believes he has something on the autism spectrum. When I heard of his tentative diagnosis, I thought about how I wasn't diagnosed with my autism spectrum disorder (ASD) until age 27, and I felt sad that this little guy might travel down the same path. 

Right now he stands at a crossroads if he indeed has an autism spectrum disorder. 

His educators and other caregivers could evaluate how he does with  interventions geared toward individuals with attention deficits, see if he still needs to be evaluated for other learning disabilities, and refer him to a specialist to test him for ASD. If he indeed has an ASD, he could then receive interventions for that and learn how to adapt to his world. He could have a better quality of life than I did at his age because he would have caregivers and teachers that understood the workings of his brain and use that understanding to him thrive in the world. 

On the other hand, he could get the attention deficit diagnosis, but the intervention might not work because the ASD was missed. He could go through school wondering why he isn't achieving to the level that his intelligence would indicate. He could spend much of his life wondering what he was doing wrong and why he isn't able to act normal. A mentor could help him develop his talents, but he might not get the help he needs if his ASD isn't recognized. This path is harder and he would be more vulnerable to emotional wounds inflicted by caregivers, peers, and teachers that don't understand him. He could self inflict his wounds by constantly telling himself that he is not good enough, he can 'never get it together,' and that he should know better every time he runs into a social mishap. I have walked this path, and I pray desperately that he will not have to. 

However, I do not think he will not walk my same path. Teachers are more aware of Asperger Syndrome and high functioning autism and may pick up that he has it sooner or later. If he indeed has an ASD, hopefully it will be picked up before he enters college. More importantly, this boy has a loving father that loves God. Even though he lives across the country from this child, this father  shares God's love and hope with this child every chance he gets. This boy has heard God's truth and has people praying for him that he doesn't even know. If this child sees God as real in his life and knows God is the one who made him and knows that God is the Creator who made him just the way he is, this boy will not go down my path. This boy's path may still be challenging. However, because of God's grace, this boy's path may be filled with hope.